


Baby Blue: Part 1

by thesecretdoor



Series: Baby Blue [1]
Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 10:14:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 25,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10614801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesecretdoor/pseuds/thesecretdoor
Summary: It was only ever meant to be about sex...their relationship is just convenient, as long as it doesn't affect their friendship or their work there's no problem with it, right? But just how long can they carry on that way?





	1. March 28th 2012

It’s still cold in Hokkaido this time of year, the nights in particular have that extra nip to them. Luckily for the members of KAT-TUN, they arrived in Hokkaido a day or two earlier than necessary, even considering how many rehearsals Kame was insisting they fit in this year, meaning they could enjoy their rare night of on-tour freedom. After soaking for a while in the hot baths, they headed back to the hotel to relax and take advantage of the all-inclusive bar offered to them.

“It’s stupid I know, but I just have a bad feeling about this tour” Ueda whined.

“What? What’s wrong? Did something happen Tacchan?” Kame butted in, though it was hard to tell if it was in concern for his band mate, or the idea that something could possibly go wrong the tour.

“It’s nothing” Maru answered wearily “He’s just being paranoid...I already told you Ueda, it’s just because you broke your toe last time, you’re worried for no reason”.

Ueda glared at him “I know that, baka. I’m not implying I have psychic powers or anything...I just don’t like being worried...”

Taguchi suddenly got up, making his way to stand behind Ueda, he wrapped his arms loosely around the older man’s neck “You just want some comfort, ne Uepi?”

“Get off me freak”, Ueda answered as he stood abruptly, pushing his band mate away. “How much have you had to drink anyway?”

Taguchi just laughed under the scrutiny of his friends “I’m not drunk, I’m just happy! We don’t get to do this often enough, just hang out and relax” his band mates just looked on in silence “but you know that I would be there for you right, Uepi, whatever you need...”

It was Koki who snorted then “Seriously Taguchi, you’re still hung up on that? Just ‘cos he called you cold once...” the others caught on and began laughing too, though quickly the joke was dismissed and they all returned to their drinks.

Taguchi put on his trademark smile and joined in the drinking, though inside he felt a little heavier. He’d always thought he was a good friend, he was always ready to smile and laugh and say stupid jokes or do stupid things, anything to make his friends laugh, especially when they were already feeling down. Somehow that had never really worked with an unsettled Ueda though, maybe he really was just too KY to understand what Ueda needed when he was down. All the same he had promised himself when he first read that interview that he would pay extra attention to the other man, to try and always give him what he needed, be a proper friend.

It was only a few hours later when the five tipsy men were ready to turn in for the night, that they learned of the screw-up with the rooms. There weren’t enough rooms for them all to have separate rooms, even after the juniors had offered to squish themselves in together. As always, arguments such as these should be settled with Janken, and so after a few rounds and rematches, everyone resigned themselves to the sleeping arrangements. Kame would share a room with Makino Koji, their on tour drummer, while Maru and Koki would share a room and Ueda and Taguchi would share.

“Just keep quiet and don’t get in my way alright?” Ueda snapped as he walked into the room behind Taguchi.

“It’s not my fault Uepi, don’t take it out on me...” Taguchi replied, dejected, as he sat down on his bed.

Ueda’s face softened a little “I’m sorry ok? I know it’s not your fault, if it’s anyone’s then it’s Kame’s for insisting we come straight here after Nagano, or the hotel’s...it’s not like they didn’t know we were coming anyway...we’re just a little early is all”

“It’ll be fine from the 30th, they kept our original bookings for then...” Taguchi tired to appease him.

“Yeah I know, I just...I like my space is all...”

“Well, I’ll just keep out of your way ok?

Ueda just nodded and gathered his toothbrush and toothpaste before heading into their en-suite bathroom. It wasn’t that he had anything against the other man, he just didn’t like being away from home, he didn’t like sleeping in hotel rooms or sharing rooms with other people, and everything added up, he just felt irritable. It didn’t help any that he’d had maybe a little too much to drink, and while he seemed unaffected, his head was spinning just a little, his limbs too heavy and his skin seemingly too sensitive in his clothes, but sleeping naked seemed out of the question now. He sighed before readying himself for bed and slipping back into the room and under the sheets of his own single bed.

Taguchi then went to ready himself, switching out the light when he returned and climbing under the sheets. He was unable to sleep though, his slightly foggy mind filled with the man laying only a few meters away, he didn’t know why but he wanted so badly for this to be his chance to show Ueda he could be whatever he wanted, that he could be a good friend, and know what the right thing to do depending on his mood was.

Ueda was fairing no better with sleep, he lay awake, uncomfortable in his surroundings and in his own head, his body feeling strange to him, he knew it was just the unfamiliar place and situation, but it didn’t help him find comfort at all. He had ways of helping himself fall asleep when his mind was restless like this, but that involved finding something more powerful for his mind to focus on, powerful feelings he could distract himself with, things he could do to his body...but no there was no chance of that with Taguchi in the room. He convinced himself he could try to be subtle about it once the other was asleep, but he could tell the other was still as wide awake as he was, and he couldn’t exactly slip off to the bathroom either, the walls so thin that Taguchi could probably hear any sound he made anyway.

He found himself hardening at the thought of it, the desire to complete the task now physical in addition to it as a means to sleep. He rolled to face the wall, away from Taguchi and slowly trailed his hand down to press against the heat in his boxers. He could feel his blood heating up, hear it pounding in his ears, and he suppressed a gasp as he began to move his wrist, but the skin of his arm rubbing against the almost plastic sheets with each stroke sounded far too loud in the quiet room, and he had to force himself into stillness when he heard the creak from Taguchi’s bed as he moved.

He knew his attempts were futile, he wouldn’t be able to take this any further without somehow alerting the other man to his inappropriate actions. He rolled onto his back, ashamed of himself for his inability to control his desires, and embarrassed by how little it took for those desires to become so strong, still, he found himself now exponentially more uncomfortable, still unable to sleep, and now achingly aroused.

He turned his head to the side to mentally curse the other man for his presence, when a crazy idea hit him, what had his words been earlier “whatever you need...” well it was certainly true he had needs...


	2. March 28th 2012

“Taguchi” he spoke, barely above a whisper. When he heard a grunt from the other bed he continued “Taguchi, I can’t sleep...”

“Me either...try counting sheep or something...” he finally responded.

“Taguchi, I’ve tried almost everything I know...” Ueda whined.

“There’s nothing I can do Uepi, I’m sorry”

Deciding to try a different approach, Ueda slipped from his bed and climbed gently into Taguchi’s. “There is something you could do...Taguchi, do you want to do something crazy?”

Taguchi turned quickly to face him with the sudden spark in his voice, but before he could respond Ueda had him pinned to his bed by the shoulder, his face drawing closer and closer until their lips met. Taguchi pushed Ueda back sharply “What are you doing?” But the older man didn’t answer, just leaned down and kissed him again. After a few short moments, in which Taguchi struggled for the correct way to react, Ueda pressed his tongue hard against the younger man’s lips, licking a stripe across them before pushing insistently between them.

Taguchi gasped, allowing Ueda even more access to his mouth, tongue now more part of Taguchi’s mouth than his own. He was still confused as to what was happening, and so he slowly pushed Ueda back by a strong hand to his chest. “I don’t understand...”

Ueda took the hand from his chest, pressing it down into the pillow beside Taguchi’s head “You said you’d be there if I needed you...well right now, this is what I need...will you be there for me or not?” They continued looking into each other eyes, Ueda’s full of resolve, Taguchi’s torn. He wanted to be there for Ueda, just the idea of being able to be there for him, and in a way he was pretty sure none of his other band mates had been...but he didn’t have those kinds of feelings for him, he’d never even given it any thought. Something in Ueda’s eyes softened, almost looked defeated and Taguchi at once felt he’d let him down again.

As Ueda tried to draw away, Taguchi grabbed his wrist “Wait, I will...I’ll be there for you...” he nodded as though to confirm his decision, though in all honesty he didn’t really know what exactly he had agreed to. Ueda beamed at his words, leaning down again to kiss him with a new force.

Ueda continued to kiss roughly, Taguchi responding as much as he could, until Ueda’s hand began to snake its way up his leg, he inhaled sharply, a tingle of arousal running through him, but it was only when the hand found its way to his cock, he realised he was already half-hard. He gasped, causing Ueda to let out a little giggle, before pressing his own arousal into Taguchi’s hip, rocking into him, and mewling quietly until Taguchi felt himself fully harden.

Ueda broke the kiss again to lean down and whisper into Taguchi’s ear. “Roll over, I want you on your hands and knees...” Taguchi’s eyes shot open realising now where exactly this was going, he leaned back to look into Ueda’s smirking eyes.

“Uepi, that’s...” Ueda just looked at him expectantly, eyes a little hazy. “How much have you had to drink?”

Ueda pondered the question for a few moments before grinning “Not enough to think this is a good idea, but enough that I want to do it anyway” Taguchi looked at him a little longer, but then inhaled deeply and got up anyway, he didn’t want to let the other man down, and he’d already surprised himself with how excited he was, how bad could it be?

He felt the bed shift as Ueda knelt behind him, running his hands smoothly over his ass and thighs, before finally pulling down his sweatpants and boxers. He lifted each leg in turn to help Ueda remove them, before settling them down spread apart. He felt Ueda’s fingers on him again and the shudder that ran the full length of Ueda’s body as his finger finally fell over the tight muscle of his anus.

“Spread your legs further, you’re too tall” Ueda coaxed as his hands pushed at his legs, forcing him to comply. He felt suddenly vulnerable, spread out and open for his band mate, but before he had time to linger on the feelings, he heard a spitting noise from behind him, followed by a quiet moan and then everything momentarily went black. 

As his mind came back to him, all he felt was pain. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to focus on his breathing, to hard and fast and yet not enough. Flames licked a stripe from his shoulder blades, right down his spine to the place where Ueda pushed unrelentingly into him. He dropped to his elbows, gripping hard onto the bed sheets and trying to suppress the sob rising in his throat, he was about to call out, to tell Ueda he couldn’t take it, when he felt a hand pressed soothingly onto his lower back.

“Sssshh, it’s alright...I know it hurts, just relax ok, it won’t take long” Ueda whispered gently. He could tell he was hurting the younger man, but he had gone this far and something inside him refused to back out now. Something felt right, intense like he’d never imagined it could. He saw Taguchi nod into the sheets, and gradually felt the muscles around him relaxing, a few thrusts later he noticed Taguchi’s arm move, sneaking its way between his own legs. 

Too soon, Ueda felt his climax approaching, he slowed a little, wanting to draw out the feeling but he was dragged forcefully over the edge when Taguchi groaned loudly, his whole body jerking as he came into his own hand. Ueda rode out his orgasm before pulling out gently, falling to the side of Taguchi who was searching the floor for his discarded sweatpants, which he merely wiped his hand on before rolling onto his back, sated grin on his face. Ueda rolled his eyes before reaching out to pull the covers over them.

“Wow...Uepi that was...incredible”

“Shut up baka” he replied with no venom and a small smile.

“Uepi...are you sleeping here tonight?” Taguchi asked gently, hopefully.

“No, I’m going back to my bed in a minute, just let me...” but he didn’t finish his sentence for sleep was finally, tugging strongly from the corners of his mind, before either of them worked up the energy to move, they had fallen asleep.


	3. March 29th 2012

He cracked his eyes open slowly, his body being shaken furiously. Slowly lucidity returned and as soon as he saw the angry look on Kame’s face before him, he knew what it was he’d done. He bolted from the bed, dragging the sheets with him to cover himself, and straight into the bathroom where he locked the door. He listened long enough to hear Taguchi’s sleepy “Morning” before he switched on the shower, not wanting to hear Kame’s colorful response. 

He scrubbed his skin under the too-hot water until it hurt. He could remember what had happened, how he’d been so desperate, how he manipulated the other mans feelings to get what he wanted...worse even, he remembered how much he’d wanted it. A wave of nausea came over him. He told himself it was just the alcohol, that he didn’t mean to use Taguchi in any way, he was simply drunk, drunk and horny. He finished his shower, and wrapped himself in a clean towel, not even wanting to touch the soiled bed sheets that lay crumpled on the floor, but then he just sat on the edge of the bathtub, not wanting to face either of the men who could still be waiting for him outside.

Meanwhile Taguchi had been surprised by the smack around the head he received when greeting Kame, until of course the memories of the previous night registered and looked down to find himself naked. He grabbed the pillow from under his head to cover himself, before turning his eyes to Kame’s awaiting his reaction.

“What the fuck, Taguchi?” Kame eventually spat. “Just...what? how did this happen, what were you thinking?”

“I don’t know” Taguchi answered lamely

Kame just stared incredulously at him. “Makino has gone to breakfast already, you’d better get cleaned up in my bathroom. Taguchi nodded, but then pain shot through him when he tried to get up, he cried out and fell back down onto the bed, Kame offered no sympathy, just a stony glare, and so he tried again, this time anticipating the pain. He made it off the bed and that’s when he heard Kame’s shocked gasp, he followed his eyes to see small stains of blood drying into the sheets, he didn’t have to check to know where the blood came from, the previous night had been too painful for him to come out of this unscathed. He didn’t regret it though, after the pain had eased it had been one of the most intense feelings he had ever experienced, and what’s more he had made Ueda happy.

“I guess you must have cut yourself yesterday...opened the wound in your sleep again” Kame looked at him knowingly, and Taguchi just nodded before grabbing some clean clothes and pulling on his stained sweatpants.

In Kame’s room he showered slowly, his body ached but he still felt a pleasing calm for what had happened. He wondered briefly how Ueda was feeling right now, but shook the thoughts from his mind, disturbed slightly by Ueda’s hasty exit that morning.

He was already at breakfast with the other members, and a few juniors, when Ueda finally showed his face. He looked everywhere but directly at Taguchi.

“Morning Uepi” Taguchi beamed, though his heart was hammering in his chest. Ueda just nodded before taking a seat as far from him as possible. Taguchi’s smile faded and he continued his breakfast in silence.

“Ueda, switch rooms with me tonight” Kame spoke out lightly, Ueda glanced at him in surprise but then just nodded his head.

“Why, what’s wrong with Makino?” Koki chipped in.

“He snores” Kame answered quickly, he looked pointedly at Ueda who only nodded again, picking at his toast without eating it.

“Hadn’t we better get to the Sport’s Center” Maru said after a lengthy silence “They said we could practice from 11, right? What time is the bus coming for us?”

“It should be here in 15 minutes” Kame replied glancing at his watch “Everyone go get sorted, be back here in 10 minutes” Everyone rose at Kame’s orders and scattered to their rooms, no one wanting to cause a holdup and face Kame’s wrath.

“So are you just not talking to me anymore?” Taguchi snapped when he and Ueda were alone again in their room.

Ueda glanced guiltily at the bed, but noticed the sheets were clean and crisp, the cleaners must have been in, he wondered briefly what they must have thought when they found the bloodied sheets, but he remembered Taguchi was waiting for his answer. He looked away again before replying.

“Are you ok?” He paused, but didn’t let Taguchi speak before continuing. “I mean the...” he pointed the bed, finding it hard to speak about what had occurred between them “there was blood...I hurt you”

Taguchi let out a sigh of relief “Uepi, I’m fine, I promise it wasn’t as bad as it looked” he smiled at Ueda who returned it, but it was something strained. “I had a really good time last night”

“I’m sorry Taguchi, it should never have happened...I should never...” but he was cut short as Kame entered the room.

“I brought my bag over now, save me bringing it by later.” He smiled at the two of them but there was something hidden behind it.

“Why did you want to switch rooms anyway?” Taguchi asked nonchalantly.

“Isn’t that obvious?” He replied, voice more urgent now “to put a stop to this” he motioned vaguely between the two of them “whatever it is”

“It’s nothing” Ueda interjected “It was a mistake...it won’t happen again” he turned then and left the room, Taguchi looking slightly hurt behind him.

“No it won’t” Kame said pointedly to Taguchi before following Ueda out.


	4. March 29th 2012

Rehearsal was tiring that day, they ran through the whole performance once, then after a short break for lunch they returned to practice specific or individual parts. It wasn’t until around 8pm that they finally left for the evening, deciding to go out to eat.

Despite trying hard all day, Taguchi didn’t get to speak to Ueda at all about the event the night before. He was happy when they finally arrived at the restaurant though and he managed to subtly slip in beside Ueda, who smiled tiredly at him. In the chaos and company there was little chance to have a proper conversation though later into the evening Ueda leaned close to his ear and whispered. “I’m sorry I freaked out earlier, we’ll talk later ok, I don’t want this to affect our friendship”.

Taguchi felt a weight removed from his chest and smiled genuinely. “It’s ok, I just want us to be ok again” Ueda smiled and nodded but then returned to his meal, speaking no more.

A short while later, they all left to return to the hotel for the night, agreeing that with all the hard work that day, they could afford a lay in the next day. Ueda followed Kame and Taguchi to what was now their room. He threw his things hastily back into his bag, then turned looking expectantly at Kame.

“What, this is my room...” Kame snapped.

“Kazuya, can you just give us a few minutes...we just need to talk ok?” Taguchi pushed gently.

“Fine, 2 minutes...” Kame reluctantly agreed before leaving the room.

They stood in silence for a few moments, but then Ueda spoke first. “I’m sorry about last night, I was irritable and uncomfortable and kind of horny and I manipulated you for my own needs and I hurt you, so I’m sorry”

Taguchi laughed lightly “Stop feeling so guilty, I could have said no, you gave me the choice...and yeah it hurt a bit at first, but after that it felt incredible. I mean, I don’t think I’m gay or anything but that...I liked it, I really liked it.”

Ueda couldn’t help but smile back “It was pretty good” Taguchi’s face lit up “I mean we can’t do it again...it was still wrong”

“I don’t think that it was, as long as we can still be friends and co-workers I don’t see why it’s a problem...we’re both responsible adults...”

“Taguchi...it’s just...don’t you think its a bit weird...” Taguchi laughed in response.

“I guess a little but...well, whatever, if you change your mind...it doesn’t have to be a relationship or anything, I like that we can be friends, but if you want some fun...no strings attached, I’m willing...” Ueda cut him off with a roll of his eyes.

“Thanks, I’ll keep it in mind” he replied with no conviction. Before punching Taguchi lightly on the arm and leaving.

When Kame entered the room again he was concerned by the smile on Taguchi’s face. “So what happened...?”

“Nothing happened, he’s an idiot, he’s just been feeling guilty...it’s alright, we’re ok now” he replied lying down on his bed.

“So...what is this between you anyway?” he sat almost nervously on the edge of his own bed.

“Kazuya what’s wrong?” he leaned up, looking at the younger man in concern “Why does it bother you so much...you don’t...have feelings for Uepi do you?”

Kame looked at him incredulously “Don’t be ridiculous” he got up and headed into the bathroom to ready himself for bed, leaving Taguchi in thought.

“There isn’t anything between us...last night we were both a little drunk and it just happened...” he replied quietly as Kame left the bathroom.

“And will it, just happen, again?”

“No, it’s not like we’re interested in each other, it was just a time and a place kind of thing.” He answered a little resigned.

“Good” Kame replied for lack of anything else to say, and then there was silence until Taguchi had been to get ready for bed and climbed under the covers. “I wasn’t trying to be a buzz kill or anything, just...it won’t work out between you two, you’ll both just end up getting hurt, and then we’ll all suffer for it...trust me” Taguchi looked over at him, he wasn’t used to hearing that vulnerable undertone in his voice and it made him curious, but Kame quickly switched out the light before rolling over and whispering “Goodnight”.


	5. March 30th 2012

After a good night’s sleep, Kame seemed to be back to his usual self, pacing around the room mumbling to himself about the changes they had decided on the previous day. Taguchi continued getting ready and then the two of them went to meet the others in the lobby.

“You ok?” Taguchi asked, a little concerned when he saw Ueda wearing his sunglasses inside again.

Ueda nodded but his smile was something forced as he said “Had trouble sleeping, Makino really does snore.” Taguchi laughed a little, but couldn’t help feel a little sour at Kame for forcing them to switch rooms. He’d been thinking about his previous night with Ueda, and though he tried hard to deny it to himself, he really wanted to do it again. It wasn’t that he liked Ueda in that way, but somehow he couldn’t imagine it would seem so right with any other man, maybe it was just that they shared a comfortable friendship, it wasn’t like they were best friends, but they weren’t uncomfortable with being in each others personal space either. And it wasn’t like he was actually gay or anything, he hadn’t even had any desire to explore his own body in that way, but he had been pleasantly surprised at how intense it had felt, a feeling he definitely wanted to explore more. He was pulled suddenly out of his thoughts by Kame, clicking his fingers in front of his face.

“Wake up Taguchi, we’re ready to leave”

He shook the remaining thoughts from his mind and boarded the bus with the other members, trying to focus solely on the concert they were to perform in only a few hours.

As expected, the concert went to plan and after everyone had showered and changed into their own clothes again, they headed out to a restaurant to celebrate before going back to the hotel to turn in. For the next two nights they would have their own rooms as planned and Ueda felt a weight lifted from him as he walked into his own quiet room, alone. He slowly readied himself for bed, feeling a little more relaxed to have his own space, then climbed under the covers to sleep.

He was rather annoyed to find that half an hour later he was still wide awake, though he was a little comforted that he would now have the freedom to use his usual method of encouraging sleep. He smiled into the darkness and moved a hand slowly down his chest, enjoying the feel of his own muscles contracting in anticipation, and then exhaling quietly when the hand reached its destination. He reached into his boxers and stroked himself slowly a few times, bringing himself to full attention before altering his grip just the way he likes, and squeezing a little on each upstroke as he set a steady rhythm for himself.

He closed his eyes and dragged up memories to aid him, photos of gravure models in bikinis, high pitched wails of the girls in those higher rated movies he liked to watch sometimes, the irregular pressure of tight walls clamping down on him as the other man came. His eyes shot open and his hand stilled, he was sure that only popped into his head because it was the most recent physical experience he had to draw on, and ok, he reluctantly admitted, one of the best. It was definitely more intense physically than sex with a girl was, but of course that was likely the extra tightness, the extra heat, the way he felt squeezed from every angle, so many bumps and ridges soft but strong pressing into him. His hand began moving again before he gave it permission to and he had to suppress a moan. His mind continued to focus on those memories, but the feeling provided by his hand couldn’t compare, couldn’t replicate it no matter how lost in the thoughts he was.

He forced himself to still again, considering his options...sure he could continue, maybe even get out some moisturizer, the slickness might add to the feeling...or there was that other option, the one he knew he wanted to take despite everything inside his head screaming that it was a bad idea. But Taguchi had said he was willing, said he had wanted to even...and they were responsible adults, as long as it didn’t mean anything, it was just to help him sleep while he was away from home in such an unfamiliar place.

He got out of bed and pulled on some sweats before sneaking as quietly as he could along the hall, his heart was hammering in a mix of anticipation, excitement and fear of being caught. When he reached Taguchi’s door he paused, not knowing the correct etiquette for this kind of thing, should he knock? Should he have mailed the other man first to check that he’s even awake still? He leaned back against the wall considering his next move, his rationality returning as his arousal faded, telling him he should maybe just go back to bed after all.

Before he had chance to make a decision the door next to him opened and he found himself face to face with a surprised looking Taguchi, he felt a blush rising in his cheeks which wasn’t helped when Taguchi’s face transformed into a knowing smirk.

“Having trouble sleeping?”

“Shut up baka, you want it just as bad.” He replied, but the darkening red of his cheeks spoiled the force of it.

“Come on in” the taller man replied, stepping back to allow Ueda in. “You really should go back to your own room later though...Kame would have a cow if he found us together again”

“What’s his deal anyway, it’s not like it affects him in any way...”

“I don’t know, last night he was being all sad and cryptic, saying stuff like ‘Trust me, it won’t work between you, you’ll just end up getting hurt and we’ll all end up paying for it’, something along those lines anyway...”

Ueda turned to him quickly, eyes cautious “It’s not like it’s a relationship though, right? You said it could be no strings attached.”

Taguchi laughed at his panic “Of course, but I wasn’t exactly going to tell Kame about the little proposition was I? And besides you’d already politely turned me down at that point...I didn’t expect you to come crawling back” he teased.

“Yeah, well it’s not you, just so you know that...it doesn’t mean I like you or anything, it’s just convenient while we’re on tour...you know” he shot back a little hastily.

The younger man seemed un-phased though, he simply raised his eyebrows “Then for the duration of the tour?” Ueda nodded with finality.

“After the tour, it stops ok?” Taguchi smiled and nodded in agreement, pleased that at least for the next few weeks he would get to experiment with this new found feeling. He paused and then looked around, noticing the now awkward silence.

Ueda had noticed it too. “So...ano...how do we...” he paused to exhale sharply “this was a lot more straightforward when I was drunk and horny...”


	6. March 30th 2012

Taguchi sat down chastely beside Ueda on the bed and they sat in silence for a few moments. “Maybe...maybe this time we could...ano...” his face was beginning to turn red with embarrassment, an unfamiliar sight on Taguchi.

Slightly amused, Ueda let him struggle with how to word what he wanted, but eventually took pity “Whatever it is just say it, I can’t promise I’ll say yes, but I’ll hear you out at least...” Taguchi smiled gratefully.

“Well, since it hurt a bit last time...I thought it might not be as bad if we...prepared me a little first...”

Ueda looked at him with that cautious expression again, “What exactly do you mean by prepare...?”

“Well, I’d like to think even with a girl you wouldn’t just shove it straight in there...you know there’s...with lube and...” Taguchi swallowed as he saw Ueda’s face twist into an expression of disbelief.

“You want me to put my fingers in your butt?” the flush returned rapidly to Taguchi’s face.

“Or I could...but...I mean if you don’t want, just...you know it’d be kind of weird me just doing it and you just sat here watching...” Ueda considered that thought, and clearly didn’t think highly of it.

“That would be weird...fine, I’ll do it...but just so it doesn’t hurt as much ok? Foreplay with you would just be...” but he just shuffled a little on the bed and remained silent.

“Could we at least...I mean last time you kissed me, and your hand...well it got me a bit excited and it might be easier if I was, you know, into it...a bit...” Ueda looked at him for a few moments, hesitant to comply, but wanting to get things started lest he go off the idea altogether.

Taguchi closed his eyes, and so he did the same before leaning in, their lips barely brushed at first, but when the younger man let out a shaky breath across his lips, he pressed in with a little more force. He kept his eyes screwed shut, but grew a little more adventurous with his mouth, moving a little closer and finally sweeping his tongue across the others lips.

Taguchi let out a quiet gasp as he parted his lips, letting the other’s tongue inside, this time feeling braver himself and pushing his own tongue forward to slide against it. He felt a twinge of pleasure at the small noise that came from the back of Ueda’s throat, not quite a moan but more than a surprised gasp. He felt his blood running hotter, and further south as he pushed back into the kiss a little more, pushing more insistently until both Ueda’s tongue and his own found themselves in the older man’s mouth. Ueda groaned but quickly tore his mouth away, glaring at Taguchi with a slightly angry expression that only caused another jolt of excitement in the younger man. Before either could speak, Ueda leaned back in to kiss him again, one hand moving to the back of his head while the other pushed firmly on his chest until Taguchi found himself sprawled on his back on the bed, Ueda leaning into him. The older man moved back momentarily, allowing Taguchi to shuffle to the middle of the bed and arrange his limbs comfortably before he settled next to him on his side, leaning half over him. Ueda fused their mouths together once more, pushing at Taguchi’s tongue with his own, asserting his dominance and ran his hand across the others hipbone before moving it between his legs, rubbing gently at his thighs.

Taguchi let out a small frustrated groan and Ueda smirked “I’d say that counts as into it” but despite the teasing tone he found himself almost fully hard as well. “Roll over and take your pants off” he continued , Taguchi moved to comply and then almost as an afterthought he added “Do you have anything for lube or just...” but Taguchi was already reaching for his bag of toiletries, he threw a bottle of skin lotion towards the bed before taking off all of his clothes. Ueda averted his eyes, feeling rather shy about the other’s naked body despite knowing of the things he was about to do to it. He turned back again when Taguchi had settled himself on the bed again on his elbows and knees, legs spread apart to allow the other access. Ueda reminded himself that this part was necessary for the next part, the part he was now excitedly anticipating again. He picked up the lotion and squirted a little onto his middle finger, then looked gingerly at the small hole being presented to him before inhaling deeply and pressing the lubricated finger onto it. Taguchi gasped and pulled away slightly, complaining about it being cold, but as soon as he relaxed again, Ueda began moving the finger in a circular motion over the hole, spreading the lubrication around before finally pushing the tip of his finger into it.

Taguchi gasped again but said nothing as the muscles squeezed tightly round the finger, and so Ueda pushed it further inside, as he pulled it back out he heard a quiet groan, though he couldn’t be sure if that was good or bad, so he continued slower. He pulled the finger out completely before teasing the outside of the muscle once more, and pushing back in. After a few gentle thrusts of the finger, the walls around it felt a little looser, and so as he pushed back in he wiggled it around a little, pressing experimentally in different directions until he pushed against a small soft bump that caused Taguchi’s hips to jerk and a loud moan to escape his lips.

“Quiet, someone will hear you” he reprimanded playfully as he smacked Taguchi’s leg with his free hand, but he continued to rub that spot anyway. Taguchi bit into his arm to stop the moans, but Ueda noted with mischievous delight that he could do nothing to help the way his hips jerked and his walls clamped down tightly. The more reaction he managed to get out of the younger man, the more eager Ueda became to fulfil his own needs, the steady jerks and muffled moans caused his own erection to throb and twitch almost painfully against his clothes. He quickly pulled out his finger then and applied a little more lotion before pushing two back in, he heard another groan from the other man, though this time he was sure it was a good one, so after a few quick thrusts he pulled his fingers out again, and stood up to rid himself of his own clothing.

Once naked he positioned himself behind Taguchi on the bed and squirted more lotion into his hand, smothering it all over his cock with a lewd moan, before shuffling closer. He readied himself against the hole in warning, and then pushed in as slowly as he could, almost choking on the moan that tried to tear out of him. It was better even than he had remembered, it was achingly hot and he felt completely surrounded by tight, squeezing flesh, soft and smooth as it slid against him. He buried himself in as far he could go and paused for a few moments to check the other was ok.

He could see Taguchi’s knuckles were white with the force of gripping the pillow in front of him, could hear his breathing hard and frantic and he felt a little guilt that his hurried preparation hadn’t been enough, but soon enough Taguchi pulled forward a little before pushing back again hard, both men gasped in unison, and then Ueda picked up the rhythm. It wasn’t as fast as he desired, but he knew he couldn’t hold on for long and he wanted it to last at least long enough for the other man to begin to enjoy it.

After only a couple of minutes, Ueda felt the familiar burn coiling in his stomach and stopped still for a few moments to catch his breath, if only he could find that spot inside the other man this way too. He pushed down gently on Taguchi’s hips, forcing them lower, his legs further apart and he felt the contraction of pleasure it caused inside him, he smiled before leaning forward, bracing one hand against the bed at Taguchi’s shoulder the other remaining on his hip as he began to push in slowly. From here he could hear the almost silent moans spilling from Taguchi’s mouth and found himself a little unnerved by how arousing he found it. After a few slow thrusts, he shuffled his legs a little closer and began thrusting gently, this time with his hips, bucking gently into the other man whose moans got a little louder.

He sped up, bucking more powerfully now, and he saw the other’s hand disappear beneath him again, aroused at the thought of Taguchi’s hand pumping hard at his own cock. He knew it would soon be over for both of them so he leaned forward to put more weight on his arm and give his hips the freedom to buck as hard as they could, immediately he heard a high pitched, muffled moan from the other and he knew he’d hit the right spot. The muffled moans continued as he concentrated on getting that spot with each thrust, and he felt the end approaching as he thought of what those moans might sound like if they weren’t constrained. Just as he began to tip deliciously over the edge he felt the rough contractions around him signalling the other’s peak and the thought and feeling pushed him mercilessly over, dragging him down into that sweet, almost suffocating release.

He didn’t know for how long he had continued, but when the feeling became too sensitive he slowed, before withdrawing completely. He heard Taguchi’s pained hiss, and then the other man flopped unceremoniously down onto the bed. Ueda continued to hover over him for a few moments until he returned completely to lucidity, his breathing slowing and his skin cooling in the cold air of the hotel room. Taguchi half rolled over beneath him, giving a content groan, before reaching up to cup Ueda’s cheek.

“Are you ok?” he laughed, causing Ueda to break into a shy smile.

“Wow” was all he could manage. He leaned down to give Taguchi one last chaste kiss on the lips, before he moved away, standing up and searching for his clothes.

“Are you going back already?” Taguchi asked a little disappointed, but Ueda just laughed. “It’s probably best” he conceded before turning to lay back down. “See you in the morning Uepi”

“At least get under the covers, baka, you’ll catch cold sleeping like that” Ueda laughed.

Once he had managed to throw on his clothes he walked over and stroked Taguchi’s hair causing him to hum contentedly, “Thank you” he whispered before he left quietly, sneaking back to his own room and collapsing half asleep onto his bed.


	7. March 31st 2012

The following day was a pretty easy one up until the concert, there was little point in full rehearsals, and so the members only had to arrive at the venue a few hours before the show was due to start. Koki had insisted on going out to explore a little in the hours before that and so Taguchi had woken to the sound of his phone ringing on the nightstand, and then a very awake Koki dictating the mornings plans to him.

After Koki finally hung up, Taguchi dragged himself tiredly out of bed, ignoring the slight sting in his lower back and dragged himself to the shower. His body still ached a little, but overall he was quite happy with the improvements that had been made in last night’s, not quite so unplanned rendezvous. Not only had things been much easier and less painful, but he’d quite liked the intimacy of having Ueda’s fingers inside him, actually trying to cause him pleasure...and that pleasure...

On their first night together he’d been surprised by how nice it had felt, having something inside him, rubbing against his sensitive insides in that way, but he had no idea that it had been only scratching at the surface of what he could feel in that particular area. He wasn’t naive, he knew what a prostate was, and of course that he had one, and he knew that it was the epicenter of pleasure for men during anal sex, but he had assumed that that was the cause of the pleasure he’d felt on the first night. Now that he knew there was more to it, he wanted to feel it again, feel more of it, experiment with the different ways that pleasure could be triggered.

He felt himself harden a little at the thought and reached an experimental hand down, teasing his hardening arousal just a little before moving further down and back, rubbing a finger gently over the slightly swollen muscle. He felt another, stronger tingle of arousal as he felt the slick remnants of Ueda’s semen, and he used it to continue sliding his finger around the now twitching ring as his other hand closed gently around his aching cock.

Suddenly there was a loud banging on the door of his room, when it didn’t stop he knew it must be Koki, and that it would continue until he faced the man. He grunted in annoyance before switching off the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist and going to crack the door open.

“What? Give me chance to get ready won’t you?” he snapped at Koki.

“I was just checking you were up...I tried calling but you didn’t answer...it wouldn’t be the first time you switched your phone to silent to ignore me...” Koki replied, a little taken aback.

“I was in the shower...do you mind if I continue? Or do you need to supervise me?”

Koki blushed a little but then turned away, “Just come to the lobby when you’re ready...”

After shutting the door again, he returned to the bathroom to get ready, arousal now fully faded he simply went about his usual routine of getting ready, before leaving the bathroom to find some clean clothes.

Once he was dressed he heard another gentler knock on the door, and assumed it was probably Koki coming back to apologize, despite his rough gangster image, there was no question Koki was the most sensitive of the lot of them.

“Koki, what do...” he began as he opened the door, but was stunned in to silence to see Ueda leaning nonchalantly against the door frame.

“Morning” he grinned before pushing his way past Taguchi and into the room.

“Uepi, what are you doing here?” he asked tentatively as he closed the door again.

Ueda laughed “I’m not here for that, if that’s what you were worried about...Koki called, asked if I wanted to go shopping with you guys and some juniors, he said you snapped at him earlier so I volunteered to come and find you” Taguchi laughed a little. “Also...I kind of...” he looked down a little shy, but he cleared his throat and continued “I wanted to check that you were ok...”

Taguchi felt a little confused but at the same time appreciative of the older man’s concern “Of course I’m ok...why would you think...”

Ueda cast his eyes over the bed “Just last time...with the blood, it had me pretty freaked” Taguchi smiled, chest feeling a little tighter at this vulnerable side of the usually stoic boxer.

“I’m fine, I swear, and there wasn’t any blood this time”

Ueda looked up and smiled a little “And it was...I know it hurt, but was it...”

Taguchi laughed a little now “Uepi, there’s no need to be embarrassed to talk about it...and yes it was much better, I appreciate you doing that for me”

Ueda shook his head dismissively “It was the least I could do really, considering I was already going to...” but he looked down again blushing.

Taguchi laughed again before walking over to tussle Ueda’s hair “Damn, you’re so cute when you blush like that.”

“Baka, it’s not cute” Ueda snapped back as he pushed the hand away before glaring at him.

Taguchi continued to beam though “So will you be coming over again tonight...”

Ueda’s glare turned up at the corners in an involuntary smirk but he didn’t answer the question. “Hurry and get your shoes on or Koki will send out a search party.”


	8. April 1st 2012

As it happened, Ueda didn’t come over that night, there wasn’t much chance to. After the concert had ended, everything running smoothly again, the members along with juniors and some of the staff from the sport’s hall went out to celebrate again. After eating as much as they could, everyone set about drinking as much as they could, and as a result it wasn’t until the early hours of the next morning that the party stumbled back to the hotel, the slightly more sober members taking responsibility of the not so sober ones.

Koki had never had a particularly strong tolerance for alcohol, but he was also never one to turn down a challenge, the two sides of his personality clashing to make for one very drunk rapper. Taguchi had been the one roped into taking care of him, while Ueda was busy looking after one of the juniors who had fallen asleep at the restaurant and refused to get up. By the time everyone had finally been helped back and put to bed, Ueda was exhausted and just wanted to get clean and to sleep. He sent a quick mail to Taguchi to say he’d just see him in the morning, and Taguchi felt rather grateful, feeling rather too tired himself.

And so the next morning everyone met for a quick breakfast before heading to the airport to fly back to Tokyo. There was little conversation in the terminal as most of the people present were nursing rather bad headaches, so there was no opportunity for Taguchi and Ueda to try and reschedule their previous plans until everyone began gathering their belongings to board. Taguchi subtly gripped Ueda’s arm to hold him back a little.

“It’s a shame we couldn’t get together last night.”

Ueda smirked “Yeah, that’d have been fun with us both too tired to move...”

“I know that” Taguchi countered “Just it’d be nice if we could, you know...make up for it...”

“The tour isn’t over yet” Ueda replied, a little confused.

“I know, just...I was thinking...have you ever heard of the mile high club?”

Ueda let out an audible gasp “Are you being serious?” he caught himself and quickly lowered his tone again “No way, we’d get caught...”

“Yeah but...” Taguchi protested.

“No” Ueda snapped, the thought of being caught by not only the other members, but a plane full of strangers terrified him, regardless of how exciting the idea sounded. He moved forward again, catching up with the rest to put an end to the conversation.

45 minutes later, the seatbelt light finally went out. Ueda chanced a glance round at his companions, those that were sharing the flight with him and the other KAT-TUN members were among the most hung-over, having decided to catch the latest flight possible instead of going earlier with the staff and equipment. Most still looked worse for wear, eyes closed and leaning back into their seats trying to ignore the rocking turbulence of the plane, others were fast asleep as soon as the safety demonstrations had finished. There were a couple of people in their section of the cabin still looking lucid, but not many, as his eyes scanned around they fell onto Taguchi’s who was watching him with interest. Ueda turned quickly in his seat, pretending not to have seen the other, but he could still feel Taguchi’s eyes on the back of his seat, see that smug grin in his mind. Thinking of the different ways he could wipe that smug grin off his face, did not help Ueda’s resolve at all, and finally after another quick sweep of the cabin he got up and slipped into the vacated seat beside Taguchi.

“Go now to the bathroom at the back of the plane, left hand side” he refused to look at Taguchi’s face but he could see he way it lit up out of the corner of his eyes “prepare yourself and I’ll be there in a few minutes, but we have to be really quick ok...if we get caught...” but he didn’t finish his sentence so Taguchi stood and headed to the back of the plane. Ueda sunk down into the seat, internally scolding himself for even suggesting such a crazy idea, but with the way he was rubbing against his too tight pants, he knew there was no way he’d back out of it.

He waited for a minute or two then slowly got up, checking for signs of anyone noticing him before heading to the back of the plane. On his way Kame caught his eye, the other man was just looking at him, expression unreadable, but then turned stony when Ueda just nodded in silent greeting. He tried to push the thoughts of Kame out of his mind as he finally reached the bathroom door. He knocked gently before whispering into the door.

“Taguchi, are you ready?” the lock on the door clicked open so he slid into the small room and locked it again. He was greeted by the sight of Taguchi bending forward, hands stretched out to support himself on the basin, trousers round his ankles and face flushed. “Are you ready?” he repeated, and Taguchi just nodded, eyes filled with a kind of fire.

Ueda hurried to unbuckle his trousers and pushed them to his knees, before shuffling closer to Taguchi. The younger man raised one hand from the basin to wet it slightly under the tap and squirt on a little of the handsoap. He then reached back to coat Ueda’s cock with the slippery substance holding Ueda’s gaze through the mirror until the older man’s eyes fell shut with a groan.

He hadn’t realised just how much he wanted or needed this until Taguchi’s hand had closed around him, he put out his hands to brace himself against Taguchi’s back, enjoying the sensations given to him, until Taguchi removed the hand. He opened his eyes to catch Taguchi’s gaze again, but feeling a little strange, looked away, and then down as he took hold of his own cock, placing it at Taguchi’s entrance. He glanced quickly at the mirror again as he pushed in slowly, just to check the other was ok, but he couldn’t see pain on his face and so he began to thrust slowly. Taguchi’s eyes closed and his head fell forward in pleasure so Ueda continued, looking at their reflection in the mirror.

When he felt they were both ready he sped up his thrusts even more, Taguchi groaned.

“Sshh, we have to be quiet ok...and quick” Ueda reprimanded him, but Taguchi just forced a nod before catching his lower lip between his teeth. After a few minutes, Taguchi raised a hand again from the basin to stroke his cock in a quick rhythm in time with Ueda’s thrusts and after only a few moments more he reached out quickly to grab a handful of tissue, pressing the tissue to end of his cock as he once again caught Ueda’s gaze in the mirror. They both felt the jolt of excitement the action caused in the other.

“Fuck” Taguchi groaned quietly, and Ueda could feel the muscles begin to tighten around him, and then the hard irregular clenching as Taguchi’s whole body jerked in his hold. Ueda slowed down and held off for as long as he could, liking the way Taguchi’s body would continue to jerk involuntarily and small pleasured noises would slip out of his parted lips. But when the younger mans eyes cracked open once more to lock with his, he felt himself begin to fall, he pushed in as far as he could and stilled, holding tight to the body in front of him as his orgasm crashed down on him.

He held onto Taguchi until the tremors faded and he could stand on his own without swaying again. Then he pulled out slowly and wiped himself down with tissue before finally looking up to Taguchi’s face. Taguchi’s grin was contagious and when Ueda’s lips turned up in a smile as well the younger man croaked, voice raspy “I told you it’d be worth it”.

As Ueda’s high left him, he was faced again with the reality of where they were. He cleared his throat “I’ll go back out now, let you get cleaned up” and then began dressing himself again before gripping Taguchi’s hand momentarily and leaving the tiny room. He had no sense of how much time had passed but the glare that Kame shot him made him think it was long enough to look suspicious. He made his way back to his seat where he took a short nap until the flight was over.


	9. April 5th 2012

Over the few days that followed, Ueda thought many times about the things that had been happening between him and Taguchi. He would think about them sometimes late at night, when his mind wandered to darker, dirtier places, but often, he would just think about them in general. He wondered what Taguchi thought of their activities, what he thought their relationship was, and he often wondered what he himself thought it was.

He couldn’t deny that he liked having sex with Taguchi and that in his most carnal desires he found the other man attractive. But the relationship between them hadn’t changed at all when they were around the other members. Taguchi showed no more weakness when faced with his icy glares or critical comments, than he ever had, nor did he seem any softer emotionally, or try less to annoy him. Ueda was slightly concerned by how much that bothered him, but he thought it was for the best after all, if anybody found out about them they would surely have to end it, something he knew for sure he didn’t want to do until the last possible moment.

Anybody else, he amended in his mind as Kame entered the room.

“Sorry I’m late, training ran over” Kame panted slightly, but then stopped suddenly realising he wasn’t the only missing member.

“Taguchi and Koki aren’t here yet...I guess radio recording ran over” Maru supplied. The five of them were supposed to meet in this Jimusho meeting room to discuss the last revisions of the show before flying out to Fukuoka for a run through prior to the show the next day. Kame’s schedule was as busy as ever meaning that over the last few days the few activities there were for the group had been in groups of twos and threes.

“How’s practice going? I haven’t seen you since we came back from Hokkaido” Ueda added just to make conversation. But before he had chance to answer, the door opened again and Taguchi and Koki walked through laughing.

Kame’s eyes narrowed a little but he looked back to Ueda, breaking into a grin “The meeting will start soon, but come sit with me on the plane and I’ll tell you all about it.” Ueda just nodded, forcing a smile back and then turned to the table ready for the meeting to start.

A few hours later, Ueda was sat on the plane with Kame, listening to his enthusiastic explanations of baseball techniques he’d been perfecting and conversations with players Ueda had never even heard of. He leaned back into his seat and tried to look interested, as though he weren’t wishing he were back in the cramped little bathroom with Taguchi.

His attention was suddenly called back when Kame mentioned the very man he’d been thinking of. “Sorry? I didn’t hear you.” he asked, when he realised Kame was waiting for some kind of answer.

“I said have you seen much of Taguchi the past few days?”

“Oh...not really, we were on the same schedule for an interview and then a photoshoot, but that’s it really, I’ve been with Maru mostly...he was there with me and Taguchi too” he added in an attempt to silence the next question.

“What about outside of work...who have you been spending your time with?”

Ueda gritted his teeth a little, starting to get annoyed “Not with Taguchi if that’s what you’re implying...” it was the truth too, he’d thought a few times of mailing Taguchi to see if he wanted to get together, but he was unsure if the whole ‘duration of the tour’ deal included while they were home too, technically they were still on tour, but it might be weird to bring it into their own homes.

Kame held up his hands in surrender “I didn’t mean to hit a nerve...I was just checking, it seemed like something was going on in Hokkaido is all...”

Ueda let out an exasperated breath “Just leave it ok Kame...it’s none of your business what happened in Hokkaido...or anywhere else for that matter...” Kame’s eyes narrowed again and he whispered angrily.

“If I could walk in on you then anyone else could...imagine if that got out...do you have any idea what would happen to KAT-TUN”

“Firstly, anybody else would have knocked or mailed or something before just walking in and secondly, stop making this about the group...it hasn’t affected the band at all so far...I mean apart from making you act like prick...” Kame stood up in retaliation, but realised the attention that put on him and quietly sat down again.

“Look, fine...do whatever the hell you want, but don’t come crying to me when it blows up in your face” Ueda didn’t answer and just glared off in the other direction.

When they finally arrived in Fukuoka, neither had spoken another word to each other, but they forgot their quarrel to focus on the rehearsal, only to resume the stony silence between them as they headed back to the hotel.

“So what’s the plan for tonight then?” Koki asked to break the tension.

“That restaurant we passed on the way from the airport looked nice, we should check that out.” Maru supplied when nobody answered.

Taguchi beamed brightly “That sounds great, I really want to eat nabe! Uepi, you’ll come too won’t you?”

Unable to resist Taguchi’s sunny demeanour, Ueda’s lips twitched a little “If that’s what everyone else wants?”

“Kame?” Koki asked the only one not to out-rightly agree.

“I want to go back and change first, I’m not even hungry yet...”

“Sure” Maru agreed, unnerved by his suddenly sour mood.

“What’s up Kame-chan? You seemed pretty happy during rehearsal...what’s got you down all of a sudden?” Koki ventured.

Kame just sighed “It’s nothing, I’ve just had a lot on my mind recently...”

The rest of the journey was spent in silence, and once back at the hotel they arranged to meet in an hour in the lobby to go back out to eat, before going their separate ways. Ueda went to his own room and took a quick shower, he’d showered after the rehearsal so it wasn’t necessary, but more out of a lack of anything else to do. He heard his phone buzz as he left the bathroom and saw it was a mail from Taguchi asking what had happened between him and Kame on the plane. He didn’t answer, not wanting to think too much about Kame’s reaction, or his own strange need to protect what they were doing.

A few minutes later there was a knock at his door, he thought of ignoring it having a rough idea of who it might be, but figured he would have to face the other man soon enough anyway.

“You didn’t answer my mail” Taguchi pouted as soon as the door was open.

“I was working on it...” Ueda excused himself.

Taguchi pushed his way into the room and kicked off his shoes before climbing leisurely onto the bed. “So what happened...I saw Kame looking a bit pissy on the plane then after rehearsal was over he slipped straight back into being a sour-puss, now since he was sat next to you I can only assume it was something to do with us...”

“It was nothing, he was just trying to be all high and mighty again, trying to stop us from...well whatever it is we’re doing.”

“What did you say?” Taguchi pushed gently.

“Told him to mind his own business...then called him a prick...”

“Uepi! You shouldn’t say those kinds of things to him, he just doesn’t understand is all...” Taguchi continued. Ueda just nodded.

“Maybe I was a little harsh, I’ll say sorry later”

Taguchi’s face lit up then “Well, since that’s sorted, what shall we do for the next half hour?” he raised his eyebrows suggestively. Ueda couldn’t help but smirk.

“You seem to have a few ideas brewing...” Taguchi rose from the bed and towards the older man, pushing him back gently against the wall.

“I have a few...” he pressed his lips gently to the corner of Ueda’s mouth, before trailing his lips down to and then along his jaw-line. “I was quite disappointed you didn’t come calling for me over the last few days...” he continued with his kisses.

Ueda tried to steady his breathing “I did think about it...”

“I thought about it too, I thought about it a lot...”

Ueda smirked then “Yeah...what did you do while you were thinking about that” he pushed back a little, moving his mouth to Taguchi’s to kiss him roughly, groaning when Taguchi pressed his hips into him.

Taguchi broke his mouth away “I didn’t do anything...I’ve been waiting...” he gasped when Ueda grabbed at his hips, pulling them closer and grinding against him “Please...please Uepi, I want you now”

Ueda pushed him gently away “Don’t call me that...not when we’re doing this, it feels a little weird”

Taguchi smiled and pulled himself closer again “What should I call you? Master?”

Ueda laughed “I don’t think that’s necessary...just call me Tatsuya”

“Tatsuya” Taguchi repeated with a shudder “I like that”, he ground their hips together once more “What are you going to call me?”

“Baka?” Ueda answered coyly, but received only a smack on the head “Junnosuke?” Taguchi fused their mouths together once more and made a contented humming noise in the back of his throat.

Before they were able to take things any further, there was a gentle knock on Ueda’s door, the two pulled apart quickly and reorganised their clothing before Ueda exhaled sharply and went to open the door. He was greeted by the calm smile of Maru.

“Everyone else is in the lobby already, apart from Taguchi who we can’t find.” Ueda just opened the door to reveal Taguchi laying nonchalantly on the bed once again “Oh, well, there he is, anyway we’re all ready, if you were ready too we could make tracks sooner...” Ueda sighed again but grabbed his boots and motioned for Taguchi to do the same.


	10. April 5th 2012

Kame seemed to have cheered up a lot by the time they reached the restaurant so Ueda took the opportunity to hold him back a little while.

“You guys go in ahead, I’m going to have a smoke” Kame encouraged, when Ueda had gripped his arm gently. He lit up his cigarette then turned to Ueda. “What’s up?”

“Kame...I’m sorry for what I said earlier...I know that you mean well, that you’re just looking out for us...and for the band, so I shouldn’t have been so mean to you.” Ueda tried.

Kame took it all in, then nodded “Thank you, I appreciate that...but my position on the matter still stands...”

“I get that...and you’re right, there is something going on, but it’s just sex, and we’re agreed that it’s just until the end of the tour and then it’s over...so you really don’t need to worry ok?” Ueda admitted, something about Kame’s unsettled demeanor making him want to reassure the younger man.

“Tacchan, I couldn’t stop you if I wanted to so I won’t even try, just be careful ok...” he paused for a moment in thought but he seemed a little more relaxed “I want you to know I’m not comfortable with it, and I don’t want to know what’s going on, it’ll only worry me...”

“I promise, we’ll be careful...you won’t even be able to tell anything is going on.” Kame smiled then and finished his cigarette, before they headed into the restaurant. When they sat down, Ueda gave a reassuring nod to Taguchi and then they all began a conversation about the tour while they enjoyed their meal.

When they reached the hotel again, they split off into their separate rooms, but it was only a few minutes until Ueda’s phone buzzed. He smiled knowing immediately who it would be from, he picked it up to read the mail, which as he expected was Taguchi’s questioning how things had gone with Kame. Instead of answering, he snuck out of his room and along the hall to Taguchi’s.

“I hoped you’d come over” Taguchi beamed when he opened the door. Ueda entered the room and sat down. “So things are ok with Kame now?”

“He basically said he doesn’t like it, but he knows he can’t do anything about it, so as long as we’re careful he’ll back off a bit” he smiled.

“Good...that’s practically a blessing” Taguchi smiled back, before moving to sit beside him on the bed. “So...we were kind of interrupted earlier weren’t we?”

Ueda laughed “How do you do that? You just switch from this smiley, dorky...idiot...into...” he trailed off blushing.

“Into what?” he asked teasingly as he leant over and began kissing along Ueda’s jaw again, Ueda couldn’t prevent the smile spreading across his face, so to hide it he pushed Taguchi roughly away and down onto the bed.

“A dangerous, seductive...” he laughed and then climbed over Taguchi’s body, straddling him on all fours before leaning down to nip at his neck with his teeth. Taguchi whimpered and began to writhe beneath him, pushing his hips up in attempt to feel some friction. “You got excited rather quick...” he teased when he felt the hard mass pressed into his leg.

“Uepi...Tatsuya...please...I’ve been waiting so long, please just fuck me already.” Taguchi groaned, trying to find the older man’s mouth with his own. Ueda liked the power he felt over Taguchi, but quickly moved to remove their clothes anyway. “In my bag, in the front pocket” Taguchi managed between heavy breaths and Ueda went to rummage in said pocket.

“Lube?” he asked in surprise “And condoms?” he looked sceptically at Taguchi “Just had these laying around?”

Taguchi threw a pillow at him “You can leave the condoms there...they were in case we wanted anymore mile high fun” a blush rose on his cheeks “It wasn’t exactly comfortable sitting on a plane for an hour feeling it...you know...running out”

Ueda blushed, he hadn’t even thought about what exactly it meant for Taguchi, having him release inside the other’s body. “Sorry, I didn’t even...”

“It’s ok” Taguchi cut him off “under other circumstances, I actually kind of like it...” he blushed again, this time giggling a little.

“Gross” Ueda mumbled quietly before dropping the issue, and heading back to the bed, lube in hand.

He took a few moments to take in Taguchi’s naked body, the strong shoulders and prominent collarbones...but he’d seen them so many times before. His eyes raked downwards, Taguchi was bigger than he was in length, only by a little, but it was a noticeable difference, in girth he figured they were about the same so he didn’t feel quite as inadequate. He glanced back up and noticed the slightly concerned puzzled look on Taguchi’s face, he laughed a little and shook his head before settling his hand on Taguchi’s stomach, stroking the firm muscles, just visible under his soft skin. 

Taguchi’s face relaxed a little, and so Ueda dragged his hand along his hip and down the inside of his thigh, wanting to see the younger man writhing once more. He got his wish as he ran a finger gently back up along the smooth skin between Taguchi’s balls and anus and so he pressed a little harder before sliding up further, running his finger the full length of the hard cock. Taguchi let out a high pitched whimper as his finger slid off the end of the head, he cracked his eyes open to look pleadingly at Ueda.

“Tatsuya...please don’t tease me...please” Ueda smiled, satisfied with the reaction and then opened the small bottle on the bed beside him, pouring a little onto his fingers. He inserted two straight away, remembering just how aroused he was himself when Taguchi’s hips jerked involuntarily. He wasted no time in finding and massaging the small bump that had Taguchi’s whole body shuddering, making him throw back his head and fist his hands into the sheets in an effort not to scream or break apart.

Ueda hastily finished his preparations and coated his arousal in lube, he paused only momentarily to push Taguchi’s legs up before pushing roughly inside. Taguchi groaned loudly, seemingly a mixture of pleasure and pain, but quickly recovered enough to move his legs, wrapping them around Ueda’s waist.

Ueda set a quick pace right from the start, leaning forward and pressing sloppy kisses into Taguchi’s shoulder until Taguchi pushed him back a little to manoeuvre his legs onto the older man’s shoulders. Ueda could hear the result of the angle change in the moans that flooded straight into his ears as he leaned down again as far as he could.

After a few minutes at the frantic pace he felt the heat rising in his stomach, and began to slow.

“No please...don’t slow down, please” Taguchi managed.

The strangled voice and words pushed Ueda closer until he felt he had to stop, Taguchi gave a small cry of protest.

“I just need a minute or I’m going to come” Ueda panted out, a little embarrassed.

Taguchi groaned again “I’m close too, please just don’t stop.” Ueda nodded and began thrusting again slowly as Taguchi moved his hand between their bodies to touch himself.

“Fuck” Ueda groaned, stopping again as Taguchi clenched tightly around him, causing Taguchi to groan again in frustration. Taguchi continued to stroke himself, hissing with the pleasure it shot through him.

“Please, I’m gonna come” Taguchi moaned, grasping for Ueda’s hips with his free hand and the older man began moving again at once, hips faltering almost instantly in orgasm. In the midst of the white heat he felt the familiar tightening of muscles and warm wetness splattering across his stomach and abs.

When his breathing calmed he pulled out slowly and slumped down onto the bed. He felt the bed shift as Taguchi leaned over to grab some tissues from the night-stand. He offered some to Ueda.

“Sorry, I think I got you too” he blushed, holding out the tissue.

“That’s ok, I’m going to go shower quickly if that’s alright?” Taguchi just nodded and so Ueda gathered his energy to get up and drag himself into Taguchi’s shower, rinsing his body under the hot spray.

The younger man was already snoring lightly by the time he left the bathroom again so he just pulled the covers up around his shoulders and left quietly, whispering “Good Night Junno” before shutting the door.


	11. April 8th 2012

The rest of their days spent in Fukuoka had been focused on the shows, there had been some last minute sound problems, and a great deal of the little free time the members had was taken up by extra meetings and rehearsals to get around the problem.

Most of the free time they then had on top of that was spent as a group or with juniors, going out to eat or to drink, or stealing what time they could to visit the onsens or take in massages. As a result Taguchi and Ueda had only the most rushed of moments alone together, with no time to even have a proper conversation. Ueda had been thinking some about their previous night together, firstly it had been the first time he’d even paid any mind to the fact they hadn’t been using protection, not that he expected Taguchi to have some kind of disease, and he knew that he himself didn’t, but somehow he felt irresponsible for not even thinking of it. Also, the change in position had rattled him somewhat and in a few distinct but almost indefinable ways, he was concerned for how intimate it had felt, for their openness in speaking to each other while doing it, even a little troubled as to Taguchi’s knowledge of good sex positions.

He shook his head and looked around, they were already half-way through the short plane journey back to Tokyo, he felt slightly more at ease knowing Taguchi wouldn’t mind if they met up sometime while they were back. But then he also felt a little further from feeling at ease with all these nagging thoughts swimming around in his head that he didn’t particularly want to talk to Taguchi about, but that he knew he would have to if he were to find any escape from them.

“Are you ok?” Taguchi asked suddenly appearing by his side “you don’t look too good”.

“Yeah I guess, maybe just tired” he lied easily “or a little hungry”.

“I’m starving, me and Koki are going to go grab some ramen on the way back, you could come too if you like?” Taguchi offered.

“Maybe” Ueda grumbled back noncommittally, though he thought maybe being around people would perk his spirits up a bit. He looked up at Taguchi’s pouting face and couldn’t help laughing. “Fine, whatever, I’ll come with you.”

The pout changed immediately to a smile “If you wanted to, maybe afterwards you could come back to my place and hang out for a bit?” Ueda caught the meaning but there was no sign of it in Taguchi’s tone.

“Sure” he nodded back in the same tone, but secretly he felt quite giddy with the excitement of getting away with the arrangement in open company. He glanced around and realised they didn’t quite get away with it, Kame was looking at the two of them, though he didn’t speak up or try to interfere.

Once back in Tokyo they were picked up by a bus to take them back to the Jimusho building where they each picked up their own cars. Nakamaru counted himself in on the Ramen and so they agreed on a place to meet and set off.

“So what’s everyone’s schedule like before Hiroshima?” Koki asked conversationally when the four of them were seated and waiting for their orders.

“Interview and photoshoot on the 10th then Shuichi recording on the 11th and concert meetings on the 12th for me” Maru answered.

“Don’t we all have that shoot together?” Taguchi pitched in.

“I’ve got it on the 11th I think” Ueda said “I have Kyoukasho recording on the 10th, just for an hour or so though, it’s nothing special”

“Are we really going to talk about work the whole time?” Maru piped up again “Taguchi did you buy that game I told you about?”

Ueda rolled his eyes and caught Koki’s gaze who just sighed, then the two of them sat back while Maru and Taguchi rattled on about said game. Thankfully by the time food arrived they’d moved onto talking about a different game, one which both Ueda and Koki could at least hold their own in a conversation about.

By the time they had finished the meal, Ueda’s mood had soured a little. Somehow, both Maru and Koki had invited themselves round to Taguchi’s place to play some kind of video game...or maybe it was something to do with survival games or something...he’d tuned out shortly after realising there’d be another few hours until he finally got to be alone with Taguchi.

It was strange when they entered Taguchi’s apartment, Koki seemed to know his way around well enough, but Ueda couldn’t recall if he’d even been to this apartment at all. It looked similar to the last one though, small and cosy but kept very neat and clean, the decoration simple save for a collection of photos and clippings of some kind pinned to a large notice board. There was a large sofa in the main living area with a small kotatsu on the floor in front of it, and the large plasma screen on the wall opposite. As expected, there were a number of games consoles and piles of games littering the neat stand that the TV was placed upon, but other than those and a bookshelf and beanbag, the room seemed quite empty.

As he turned around he noticed Taguchi almost nervously watching his critique of the apartment. He smiled and mumbled “Nice place.” Suddenly aware that his behaviour probably seemed quite strange. Even to himself it was strange, he barely cared how neat or simple his own apartment looked, so to take in Taguchi’s in such detail...he shook his head to clear the ridiculous thoughts, if he cared to learn more about who Taguchi was as a person he could just ask, there was no need to rake over his personal belongings as though they could tell him some secret... 

“You playing Pomu?” Koki asked, breaking him from his thoughts.

“I’ll watch first...see if I can get the hang of it.” He replied, not even sure what game they were talking about. He sat down at the edge of the sofa and the others piled on after him leaving Taguchi to sit on the beanbag that he placed just off to the side of where Ueda sat.

The first game they played was some kind of ‘Smash Brothers’ style fighting game, Ueda joined in for a few rounds but it was clear that the others had played the game many times before. Taguchi took pity and tried to subtly protect Ueda’s player from the other two, but Ueda wasn’t that stupid.

“Taguchi, stop trying to help me!” he snapped eventually.

“Sorry Uepi, it just didn’t seem like you were having much fun playing with us” he tried to sound innocent.

“It’s not that, I’m just not very good at it, that’s all...”

Taguchi’s face lit up, “Well anytime you want to practice you can come over and I’ll teach you!” Ueda suppressed the urge to roll his eyes, thinking it would at least be a good excuse to be spending time with Taguchi outside of work.

Eventually he nodded “Yeah, maybe...”

“Anyway, let’s play something different for now ok?” and Taguchi retrieved yet another hidden stack of games for them to hunt through.

A few racing games and a first person shooter demo later, Koki finally announced he’d be leaving.

“I wish I could stay and play longer, but the kids you know...I’ve already been away from them for so long, they’ll be lonely.” He

“I should probably go too, my dogs will be waiting” Maru announced as he stood also.

Taguchi pouted “Uepi, you’re not going to leave too, right?” Ueda laughed but couldn’t help a small smile.

“I’ll stay a little longer, but not too late, I have dogs too you know.” Taguchi nodded happily, then stood to show the others out.

Ueda breathed a small sigh of relief, it wasn’t that he didn’t like hanging around with Koki and Maru, but he had been painfully aware the whole time what he was there for. He hadn’t been particularly interested in the games they played, but had endured the few hours pretending he was enjoying it, so as not to look suspicious being there. It hadn’t been easy to focus on the games though, what with the way Taguchi got so animated and moved around so much causing his shirt to ride up and reveal small patches of the smooth pale skin along his back and side. Or the way he would casually lean forward on his knees to switch games, shirt riding up again, pants stretched tight across his firm ass, in a way that Ueda never imagined would get him so hot. On more than one occasion Ueda had found himself shuffling around, trying to inconspicuously move his legs to hide the slight hardening in his pants.

The whole time he’d been here, this was the part he was looking forward to, the part when it would just be the two of them and he could finally give in to the feelings that had been teasing him all day, but now that it was here he was slightly nervous. He wondered how it would work, where it would work...could they really have sex in Taguchi’s bedroom, in the bed he sleeps in every night...he was forced back into reality when Taguchi re-entered the room smiling slightly, but clearly just as nervous.

“I thought they’d never leave” Taguchi laughed shakily.


	12. April 8th 2012

Taguchi paused after shutting the door behind Maru and Koki, he felt a little guilty for leaving Ueda waiting on him so long, but he couldn’t exactly tell the other two to leave so that he and Uepi could have some alone time. He’d known Ueda was bored though he hid it well. He figured he’d only noticed it because he knew there was another reason Ueda was there.

He turned to walk back into the living room, suddenly anxious. It had seemed like a good idea when he’d suggested it, but now that they were here, it felt a little weird, being alone in his familiar apartment with Ueda, who was just here for sex.

“I thought they’d never leave” he said to break the silence. Ueda nodded, his smile was just as nervous.

“Should we...” he cleared his throat “Do you want to go to my bedroom?” Ueda nodded and rose from the couch, he switched off the TV and consoles as well as the lights and walked slowly over, and then smiled shyly as he took hold of Taguchi’s hand. Taguchi turned and lead the older man down the hallway and into the bedroom, before letting go of his hand to switch on the bedside lamp and peel back the covers a little.

He walked back to stand in front of Ueda. “The covers are clean and everything” he said for lack of anything else to say “I changed them just before we went away”

Ueda laughed a little “Taguchi...I’m going to be putting my cock up your ass...you think I care about if the sheets are clean?” Taguchi looked sharply into his eyes then, reminded of something that had been playing on his mind. He opened his mouth to speak but Ueda placed his finger over his lips in a ‘sshh’ gesture.

“You can ask about that later if you want to, right now there are other concerns I think.” He leaned in to replace his finger with his lips and Taguchi responded eagerly. Ueda raised a hand to cup Taguchi’s cheek as he deepened the kiss, and then the hand started to trail slowly down the younger man’s chest, when it reached the bottom of the shirt, it slid gently under the fabric and began its ascent back up to his chest.

Taguchi moaned softly, his own hands reaching out to grasp at Ueda’s hips, pulling them closer to his body. Ueda’s other hand slid gently behind his back, pulling him closer in a strange kind of embrace as he began rocking their hips together, gasping slightly at the friction. Taguchi responded by tightening his grip on the fabric in his hands, and pushing into the kiss with enough force to push Ueda’s head back, he kissed him hard for a few moments, then released his lips, moving his mouth down to the older man’s throat, covering it in moist kisses, tongue darting out occasionally to taste the smooth skin. When Ueda’s moans got louder, he would concentrate on that spot for a few moments, licking and kissing, sucking just a little and then nibbling at the soft flesh.

After what seemed like forever he was finally pushed away by firm hands. “Less clothes” Ueda panted, before they hurriedly stripped down to their underwear and Taguchi gripped Ueda’s hand once more pulling him towards the bed before being pushed onto it and straddled by the older man. Ueda leaned down and kissed him roughly, hands gripping the skin on his chest hard, hips grinding hard to rub their groins together.

All Taguchi could do was to lay and take it, loving how helpless he felt and how powerful Ueda felt above him, he groaned out loudly whenever he got a chance to between kisses, pushing his hips up as much as possible, writhing uncontrollably. His body was burning in the same way it often did with Ueda, lust and heat, and need for release driving his body out of control until his mind was only a passenger to his passion. He groaned loudly again as Ueda finally tore their mouths apart, panting hard.

“Please” he managed to moan, and Ueda complied moving off him to remove their underwear.

“Do you have lube here?”

“In the top draw” Taguchi nodded, pointing to the set of draws beside his bed. Ueda quickly reached into it, pulling out two different shaped bottles of lube. He read the labels and looked at Taguchi half surprised and half incredulous. “What exactly are you expecting me to do with pineapple flavored lube?”

Taguchi laughed blushing enough for it to be visible above the flush already present from his arousal. “Nothing...I just, they were on offer and it sounded nice...” Ueda raised his eyebrows but let the matter drop putting away the flavored lube in favor of the other bottle, a gaudy label across the front promising it was the best anal lube ever. He suppressed his other questions, deciding against distraction right now and so he moved back to settle between Taguchi’s legs.

Taguchi gasped when the cool fluid first touched him but he was soon distracted as the finger began moving in small circles around his rim. “Fucking tease” he moaned, but then threw his head back as the finger was thrust quickly into him. He was given no chance to regain his composure as the finger continued thrusting hard and fast, and was joined quickly by another. He groaned at the feeling of the second finger stretching inside him but the fingers continued in their quick pace. He whimpered, throwing his head to the side before catching the delighted smirk on Ueda’s face.

“You sadistic...” he began but he was cut off by his own moan as Ueda’s fingers curled inside him, brushing hard over his prostate. He moaned again louder and tried to push his hips up in an effort to make the fingers press against that spot again. Ueda’s free hand ran soothingly across his chest before moving down to press firmly into his abdomen, holding him down as the fingers curled again and again, moving fast back and forth across the fleshy lump that caused Taguchi so much pleasure. Taguchi’s head was thrown back once more, his hips almost convulsing with the force of the constantly renewed pleasure that surged through him with each stroke of the fingers inside him. His moans came out strangled, sobs almost, in his attempt to quiet them and catch his breath.

“Please” he cried out, though he was slightly unsure himself what it was he was asking for. In his current state he wasn’t sure of many things, the rough skin of the fingers brushing inside him and the bed-sheets crumpled in his aching fists the only physical feelings to assure him he was still in one piece and not imploding like his pleasure-hazed mind was threatening.

The fingers drew away slowly, allowing Taguchi’s body to relax a little, he drew in deep shuddering breaths as he tried to return to consciousness, his mind pleasantly blank despite the still aching physical arousal. He didn’t notice when Ueda got up, leaning over him once more to whisper in his ear.

“You’re so hot when you lose control like that” he whispered, voice deep and erotic before he placed a gentle kiss on Taguchi’s lips.

Taguchi’s mind caught up with him then, jolts of excitement racing through his body and he turned his head to moan loudly before searching for Ueda’s mouth kissing him carelessly and sloppily.

Ueda let out a little chuckle, “I think we’ve waited long enough” and Taguchi nodded as Ueda sat back, applying lube to his erection before readying himself at the twitching hole.

He pushed in slowly and Taguchi groaned, feeling every inch of the wide, hard mass edging its way inside. There was still some pain stinging at the edge of his feelings, but he liked it, loved it, the way his breath was knocked from him as he was stretched beyond what he felt he could take. The slow burn consuming him from the inside out as the soft, slick flesh slid against the tingling nerves inside him. 

When he was all the way in, Ueda paused and Taguchi took the opportunity to experiment a little, consciously squeezing hard and then moaning in time with Ueda at the feeling of his cock twitching involuntarily.

Ueda leantd down to kiss him softly, “Are you ok?”

Taguchi nodded “It feels incredible.” Ueda smiled and began to slowly move his hips, causing both of them to moan. He gradually picked up his pace, moving faster and more frantically, and Taguchi tried his best to push back in time, forcing the older man deeper inside him, and dragging loud moans from his lips.

After a while Ueda stopped, pulling back a little to adjust his position. He knelt back on his knees, pulling Taguchi with him and into his lap pushing his legs apart to take in the sight of the flushed and disheveled man in front of him. Taguchi bucked his hips impatiently and surprised himself with the intensity of the feeling it produced, he moaned loudly, balling his hands into fists again and Ueda caught on, gently bucking his hips and managing to hit that spot as well.

Taguchi gasped as his body jerked, lights sparking behind his eyes. “Oh fuck” he moaned “right there” and Ueda complied, bucking hard and fast, hitting his prostate with precision. Taguchi could do nothing to fight against his body’s reactions and so he just laid back, allowing his body to jerk and his mind once again be pulled under and replaced with burning need. He could feel the way his muscles were spasming around Ueda’s cock, hear the harsh sound of his own moans and feel the slickness of the precome on his stomach, so much of it now that he could feel it begin to trickle along the gradient of his hips.

He was pulled back to lucidity when a hand wrapped around his cock, sending pleasure shooting through every muscle in his body. After only a few strokes he felt it, suddenly and unexpectedly crying out as his vision turned white, his whole body on fire with sensation.

When he had calmed enough to open his eyes he saw Ueda staring half amazed, half disgusted at the place where he could already feel semen trickling out. He took a deep breath, alerting Ueda to the fact that he was being watched, Ueda flushed a little but then looked back down bringing a finger up to slide against the slickness. Taguchi released a breathy moan as he slipped the finger inside, everything felt sharp and tingly, but not unpleasant and his muscles contracted gently. Ueda withdrew his finger, looking sheepishly into Taguchi’s face.

“Sorry...I just” he paused, a dark blush creeping onto his face, “does it...” but he didn’t finish his question, laughing a little and shaking his head “it doesn’t matter...”.

He gently lifted Taguchi’s hips, moving them off his lap and then he stood, looking around for his clothes.

“Are you leaving?” Taguchi asked, after wiping himself clean with tissues and pulling up the covers.

“I’d better...the dogs won’t have been out since this afternoon.”

“They’ll be ok just for the night won’t they?” he asked, voice quiet.

“The dogs will be fine, it’s the state of my kitchen floor I’m worried about.”

“I see” he nodded “I guess it can’t be helped” he smiled though it was something slightly sad.

Ueda finally found his boxers and was about to put them on when he caught the slightly dejected look on Taguchi’s face and felt a little guilty. He sighed and dropped them back to the floor “Fine, but if they make a mess on my floor I’m calling you to clean it up!” Taguchi’s face brightened immediately. “Move over” he said as he switched out the light and climbed into the bed beside Taguchi “I’m warning you now though, I don’t snuggle, so just keep to your own side ok”

“Ok” Taguchi replied happily. “Goodnight Tatsuya”

Ueda rolled his eyes and turned to face away from the other man, but after a few moments silence he gave in and whispered “Goodnight Junno”


	13. April 9th 2012

He woke peacefully the next morning, bright light shining in through the thin curtains. His own curtains at home were much thicker, he hated being woken early on his days off but somehow in this situation it was pleasant. He rolled over to face the man beside him, even asleep he was annoying, mouth hanging open slightly, breath slow and deep, eyebrows furrowing slightly in response to some dream where he was probably still losing badly in video games.

He felt the sudden urge to kiss him...despite how annoying he was, Ueda had started to see the cute side of Taguchi too, and the confusingly vulnerable side he had tried so hard to hide the night before. His feelings toward the man had changed, he knew that much but he didn’t know the extent of them. He definitely wasn’t in love with him, he knew love, had felt it strong and overpowering for someone before, until she had stamped all over his feelings, made him feel broken. No it wasn’t love, he wouldn’t ever let that happen again.

He tried to push his mind away from the painful memories and focus on the current situation, he certainly cared about Taguchi and felt somewhat protective of him, but those feelings weren’t entirely new. Being the baby of the group, in attitude if not by age, everyone looked out for him and if they bullied him it was only in the way that a big brother bullied his siblings. He thought maybe he was seeing him as more attractive now, though he had told him immediately that new hairstyle suited him so that wasn’t new...and rather than being attracted to him, it was more that he found him attractive, but that was kind of an occupational requirement, being Johnny’s and all.

But all of that was when they were normal, just themselves with the group, Taguchi and Uepi. Everything changed when they were alone, Taguchi changed. He was still a little silly, but not dorky and annoying, and he was confident in himself without the usual arrogance, instead it was a sexy kind of confidence. He was sure of himself and he knew exactly what to do to get Ueda’s blood pumping, but at the same time he was happy to lay back and be dominated, to let Ueda have his way, which was just the way Ueda liked it. He smiled to himself, remembering the way he had made Taguchi fall apart the night before, naturally the sound of moans had always been a turn on for him, but he felt a deep sense of pride at being able to be the cause of such natural, uncontrollable responses.

“What are you thinking about, grinning to yourself like that?” came Taguchi’s sleepy voice, he’d been so lost in thought he’d completely forgotten the other man sleeping beside him.

Ueda laughed, blushing slightly “Thank you for last night, it was amazing.”

Taguchi smiled brightly “There’s no need to thank me, you did all the work.” He blushed a little “And thank you for touching me that way, and you know...for getting me off too...”

Ueda flushed, he’d been unsure last night if he should or not, Taguchi usually took care of himself when he was ready, but he’d been so close and there wasn’t time, and he couldn’t just ignore Taguchi’s need. “That’s ok, I like it when you like it” he finally said, unable to effectively express all the things he was feeling, not sure if he even wanted to.

There was a small silence in which Taguchi rolled onto his side to face Ueda then brushed a few strands of his hair out of his face before running his fingers through the dense locks.

“Your hair is getting long” he mused and Ueda hummed in agreement, liking the feeling of the fingers in his hair. It was getting long again, he’d had it trimmed and shaped a bit for the tour but it was still a reasonable length.

“Last night” Taguchi continued, a slight blush creeping onto his cheeks “After we were done...you were watching...”

Ueda’s cheeks grew a little hotter too, “I just wondered...I never really thought about what happened after...I mean I’ve done that with girls before, and I know that it comes back out pretty quick, but I didn’t know if with you it would be different...”

Taguchi pondered the thought for a minute “I guess it’s about the same as with girls, I mean, after most of its gone I can still feel it, but there can’t be much there.”

“Doesn’t it feel gross?”

Taguchi laughed at the cute expression he made “Sometimes, like on the plane, but in a weird way it’s quite soothing to wake up and feel it...you know”

“About that...” Ueda looked down shyly “I’m sorry for not thinking of using condoms... I didn’t expect either of us would have anything, but all the same it was...irresponsible...and rude of me to just do it to you without even thinking about how you’d feel about it...”

“I wouldn’t have thought of it either apart from the plane thing...as long as we’re both clean then there’s nothing to worry about” now it was Taguchi’s turn to look away shyly. “Actually, speaking of clean...”

“You wanted to ask this last night right?”

“Yeah, and I’m feeling pretty nervous about your answer since you were so eager not to talk about it...”

Ueda laughed and stroked his cheek tenderly “It’s not like that, I just didn’t want you worrying about that kind of thing and going off the idea...”

“But am I...you know, dirty...up there?”

Ueda laughed again at his adorable expression. “No you’re not dirty...I mean I can’t imagine it’s exactly clean, it is still an asshole after all, and while I don’t exactly want to think about it, I know yours has the same primary purpose as everyone else. But there’s never been anything bad...nothing to put me off even for a second.”

“Are you sure...when I was shopping I saw you can get things to help you clean up there...if you wanted me to I could...” but he was cut off by Ueda shaking his head.

“It’s not necessary, I promise you’re not dirty, ok?” reluctantly Taguchi nodded “Though I am interested in that shopping spree of yours...you didn’t go to a shop to buy that stuff right?”

Taguchi laughed out loud “Of course not, how do you think that would go down, me being swamped by fans while trying to decide on the best anal lube”

“And how did you decide?” Ueda asked smirking.

Taguchi looked at him sternly “You’ve got to properly research these things Uepi” he caught the look on Ueda’s face “Tatsuya...I read reviews and looked at recommendations”

“How much stuff did you buy?”

“Well they were in one of those ‘spend so much and get something free’ offers...”

Ueda laughed “How much did you buy?”

“In the end...I got 4 bottles of lube and some free condoms” he grinned widely, though his cheeks darkened slightly

Ueda laughed again “That’s a lot of lube!”

“There were those condoms too...”

“Ok so there was the condoms and the three bottles of lube I’ve seen...one anal, one flavored, what was the one we used before?”

“That was an anal one too, but with a screw cap so it was better for traveling.”

“And what’s the other?” Ueda asked cheekily, but when Taguchi didn’t answer he just rolled quickly over to search the draw, pulling out the third bottle stashed inside. “Oooh, it’s one of those tingly ones right?” Taguchi just laughed embarrassed “Feeling adventurous were you?” he teased “We should totally try this one next...have you tried it before?”

Taguchi rolled back onto his back to avoid the mischievous grin on Ueda’s face.

“Juuuuunno” Ueda pouted “You’ve tried it right? What’s it like?”

Taguchi turned to face him again, cheeks flushed bright red. “I’ve only tried it once for sex...but she didn’t like it...mostly...I just like to use it on my own”

Ueda looked incredulously at him, though in reality he found the idea of Taguchi jerking off with the aid of tingly lube disturbingly arousing. He was just thinking of suggesting they try it right now when Taguchi’s phone rang, Taguchi groaned in annoyance but got up anyway to find his phone from the pocket of his jeans, Ueda was secretly delighted to note that Taguchi was also a little hard after their rather intimate conversation.

“It’s my mom, I’d better answer it...” he said looking dejectedly at the bed, seeming to sense what the disruption would cost them.

“I’d better go take care of the dogs anyway...it’s ok if I use your shower right?” Taguchi just nodded as he picked up the phone, so Ueda gathered his clothes and headed to the bathroom.


	14. April 13th 2012

KAT-TUN arrived in Hiroshima on the morning of the concert. The plan was for the show to run pretty much exactly as the shows in Fukuoka, so it only took an hour or so of meetings to check everything was in order, and then a quick run through of transitions and areas to refresh their memories.

The group and staff spent the remaining free hours in and around the arena, some going out to find food, others eating from the small buffet provided. Ueda sat on his own in the corner of the room, a barely touched bento beside him, once again he found himself deep in thought. He hadn’t seen Taguchi again until the meetings the previous day, had even ignored a few mails from him asking what he was up to. He had barely even been able to meet Taguchi’s eyes the day before, he was so confused with his feelings, scared of them even. Since when was it ok to fuck your friend in the ass, just for fun, or discuss with him his preferred choice of lubricants to masturbate with. He felt his cheeks turning red just at the thought of it, it wasn’t even the contents of the conversation itself that had worried him, but how easy it was to talk to him about it, how much he’d liked thinking about it.

He looked up to see a puzzled Taguchi staring at him, when he quickly looked away again, the younger man got up and walked over to him.

“Is everything ok Uepi? I haven’t seen you in a while, and I barely had chance to talk to you at all yesterday...”

“I’m fine, thank you” he replied looking up finally, with a nervous smile.

Taguchi leaned in a little closer. “I don’t think you are Uepi, if you don’t want to talk to me about it then that’s fine, but just say that ok...don’t pretend it’s ok if it’s not...” Ueda looked up at him, feeling a little guilty at the hurt in his expression. He swallowed hard before glancing around.

“Not here ok...”

“There’s some empty dressing rooms in the east wing...can we go there now?” Ueda swallowed again, but nodded and so Taguchi lead him to the vacant rooms and they sat down together on a small sofa. “What’s going on with you?”

The gentle, caring look in Taguchi’s eyes stopped Ueda from being able to lie. “I’m just confused about what we are...”

“Uepi, we can be whatever you want us to be, I just want to make you happy...” he replied solemnly, sensing the seriousness of Ueda’s thoughts.

“You want to have sex with me too though, right? You’re not just putting up with it to make me happy” the older man asked, slightly concerned.

“How could you even think that...you know how much I like having sex with you...but my point is that, if you wanted to stop, I’d be a bit gutted, but if it’s upsetting you like this...”

“It’s not...it’s not the sex at all, that’s great, it’s the other stuff...waking up with you the other day, talking like that...it was too...” he paused searching for how best to phrase his feelings. “Taguchi, I don’t want a relationship ok? You know what happened before right? How she hurt me...I can’t go through that again so I just...we have to keep this casual, ok?”

Taguchi smiled bitterly “That’s all this is about? That’s fine, we’ll have sex then sleep apart...no inappropriate feelings or mushy pillow talk. Whatever makes you feel better.”

Ueda looked at him in surprise “Really? It’s that easy? But you always look so sad when I get ready to leave...”

Taguchi shrugs, “it’s just one of those things, like not wanting to get out of a steaming hot shower or not wanting to get up when you don’t get enough sleep...it’s tough for a minute or two, but I soon find the will to carry on.”

Ueda laughed, the image of Taguchi making that pouting face to nobody as he climbs out of the shower strangely amusing.

“You know what your problem is?” Taguchi reprimanded gently “You think too much, you try to analyze every action or conversation...you should just let go and enjoy yourself...who cares if it’s wrong or right, or if we have sex or just fuck...or whatever, I mean the tour ends in a week anyway...it’s not like anything can change that quickly unless you let it.”

Ueda nodded “I guess you’re right...I shouldn’t be wasting what little time we have left over-thinking things should I?”

Taguchi nodded “Exactly...so please come over tonight, I’ve been waiting for you...”

Ueda smirked “You mean you haven’t been testing out your tingly lube...” Taguchi shook his head pouting “Did you at least bring it with you?”

Taguchi grimaced “I wanted to but it’s one of those pump things, and once it’s open you can’t reseal it...not really very suitcase friendly...when we’re in Tokyo though...” Ueda beamed, somehow the concerns he felt seemed insignificant when he was actually with the man in question, leaving him feeling light, and excited about the prospects of alone time once more. 

When it came time for the show, Ueda had to concentrate hard to push the thoughts from his mind and focus on the show. But once it was over and they finally made it back to the hotel, Ueda wasted no time in sneaking along to Taguchi’s room.

The days spent apart fuelled their appetite as they stumbled their way to the bed, shedding clothes as they went, making room for eager fingers to scratch their way into soft flesh, mouths joined hungrily in an endless kiss. Ueda hurried his preparation of Taguchi and quickly buried himself into the tight heat.

The sex was fast and frantic, mouths still connected as much as possible, swallowing each other’s moans as they raced towards their own release. Taguchi fell first, painting his hand with sticky white fluid while biting sharply into Ueda’s bottom lip. Ueda followed soon after, teeth gritted as his body shook with the force of it.

They remained close for a few moments more, panting into each other’s mouths, until Taguchi raised a hand to run his thumb across Ueda’s lip. Ueda licked away the blood there and gently kissed Taguchi’s lips, it was something brief but sweet, and then he got up, moving slowly to find his clothes.

Taguchi climbed contentedly under the covers and watched Ueda ready himself to leave. “I’m sorry about your lip...” he said quietly as Ueda was about to leave, but Ueda dismissed his apology, giving him a gentle peck on the lips before exiting the room.


	15. April 14th - 16th 2012

They had sex again the next night, it was just as rushed due to them both being tired but it was still passionate despite Ueda insisting no kissing that night. He’d woken that morning with his lip swollen to almost twice its usual size. When he went to the mirror to inspect it he could see tooth shaped cuts on both the inside and outside of his lip, and it stung something fierce when he ran his tongue over it.

When he’d gone to breakfast, Kame’s face darkened immediately, but Koki just laughed.

“What did you do to your lip?” he laughed as he wandered closer to inspect it.

Taguchi looked up but then guiltily away, feigning disinterest.

“I don’t know, I guess I must have bit it in my sleep” Ueda finally answered, Koki reached out a finger to prod at it, but Ueda slapped his hand away. “Fuck off, it really hurts you know.” Taguchi looked up at him then and Ueda shot him a quick glare but said nothing.

Nothing else had been said about his lip until Kame pulled him to the side later, “Look, I don’t even want to know what happened but this better not affect your singing later.”

“It won’t” Ueda assured him quickly.

“Good” Kame replied looking sternly at him, but then he sighed and pressed a small tube into his hand “I use this when my lips are really chapped, it might help a little.”

“Thank you Kame” Ueda said, genuinely appreciative of his help and cooperation.

“Yeah well, don’t think I’m going to bail you out if you screw up anymore” he said a little shortly before walking away.

Ueda had hated to admit it but the lip balm probably did save him when on stage that night, even using it he managed to open the cut inside his mouth, but the balm had sufficiently softened the skin on the outside cut meaning he was saved the pain of opening it. He had remained fairly quiet as they ate that night, but still found himself sneaking to Taguchi’s room as soon as he got the opportunity.

Once he was with Taguchi, he had reprimanded him for the state of his lip and refused to let him kiss it. Taguchi, being devious had found his way around it by kissing his cheeks instead, moving along his jawline and then down his throat until the older man was putty in his arms.

 

 

**April 16 th 2012 **

Back in Tokyo there was little work for the members to do until the dome concerts began. They had one short meeting a few days before the concerts to run over the changes that would be made but seeing as they had already played some of the domes they were familiar with most of those changes and so proper rehearsals didn’t start until two days before.

The meeting had them all excited, it was no secret that Tokyo dome concerts were the favourite of all of them. There was nothing to dislike about the arena tours, or the other domes, but Tokyo dome somehow felt like coming home to them. It was where they had broken records and done, or not done, bungee challenges, performed with their seniors year after year at Johnny’s events and had all manner of important guests come to see them. Indeed there was just something about Tokyo dome that raised their spirits higher.

The five members along with some of the staff went out to eat after the meeting, talking animatedly though hushed about the upcoming concerts, but eventually Taguchi managed to steer the conversation into the past once more, bringing up nostalgic events that embarrassed everyone around.

In the spirit of the mood, they all ate as much as they could manage though most were driving and so were at least sober. It was already getting late so they began preparing themselves to leave.

Ueda went to the bathroom, and was surprised to see Taguchi enter just a few moments later. The younger man didn’t make any move to use the bathroom, he just smiled.

“Did you just come in here to watch me pee? Cos that’s pretty creepy you know...” Ueda said a little nervously, but Taguchi laughed.

“I’m sorry, I wanted to see you alone for a few minutes, but I thought it would be kind of rude to start a conversation while you’re peeing.”

Ueda finished and tucked himself away before moving to the sink to wash his hands “So talking is rude, but just standing watching me is alright?” he raised an eyebrow  sceptically, but then couldn’t help himself smiling anyway. He dried his hands quickly before walking over to Taguchi who was now leaning with his back against the door. “So what did you want to see me for?” he asked coyly as he slid his hand around Taguchi’s waist.

Taguchi knotted his fingers into the shorter man’s hair and then leaned down to kiss him quickly before responding “To see if you had any plans tonight?”

Ueda chuckled “You’re getting bold...” but he let Taguchi kiss him again anyway. “Junno, I feel too sick...I’ve eaten too much and there’s no way I can have sex in this condition”

“Come over and hang out until you don’t feel sick anymore...neither of us are working tomorrow so it doesn’t matter how long it takes...” he kissed him again, this time slowly and much deeper.

“Juuunno” Ueda reprimanded softly as he tried to pull away. “We talked about this remember...”

“We talked about not sleeping in the same bed and no mushy pillow talk...we can still hang out as friends can’t we...” Taguchi whined.

Ueda reluctantly pulled himself out of Taguchi’s hold “Something tells me if I come over, video games are hardly going to be top of your mind. “

Taguchi laughed “Is that still a no?”

Ueda leaned in and kissed him this time “Not tonight”

Taguchi exhaled dejectedly though it was mostly for show. “Then I’ll call you tomorrow?”

Ueda laughed again “You’re insatiable” but Taguchi just grinned and Ueda found it hard not to smile back “Tomorrow sounds good” he was about to lean in and kiss the taller man again when there was a loud cough from the other side of the door.

“Are you two about done?” came Kame’s annoyed tone, so the two of them quickly exited the bathroom, returning to the table with Kame.


	16. April 17th 2012

Ueda woke up panting that morning, his cock achingly hard and so sensitive that the gentle flow of the sheets over him had it twitching. For the first time in a long while he’d had a sexual dream, a particularly vivid one at that. There was a beautiful waterfall, and the pinkish hue of sunset playing on the falling water, casting a gentle glow over his own body and the body of Taguchi as they kissed deeply, rubbing their naked bodies together to cause the sweetest friction. The dream Taguchi pulled him under the falling water hiding the light from him until all he could feel was the warm water tickling over his flesh and the burning heat emanating from inside him. He heard his own needy gasps and felt the heat rising, his heart pounding frantically and the drops of water echoing all around. The picture began to fade slowly, until only the heat and the dripping water remained in his consciousness and he eventually recognised the sound to be just the rain pouring down outside his apartment. He opened his eyes slowly, surprised to hear himself still panting, feel his naked body slick with sweat and already nearing release despite the fact that he had only been laying in his bed alone.

He heard whining from outside his door and resisted the urge to ignore it and pull himself off. He got up slowly and found his sweatpants, biting back a moan as he slid them on and walked to the door. He was met with Tiko’s happy face and wagging tail, and when the little dog rolled over at his feet he chuckled and bent down to scoop him up, rubbing his head playfully.

“You don’t really want to go out in this weather do you?” he asked, and Tiko replied by licking his chin affectionately. “Fine you win” he conceded, placing him back down on the kitchen floor where the five other dogs sat in wait, tails wagging. He greeted them all in turn and then set about feeding them while he went to fetch a hooded top and use the bathroom. Once he was ready and the dogs had finished eating he took them outside and put on their leashes, before setting out to the park nearby. He didn’t want to go far, but figured a run would clear his head and so he settled for running laps round the track in the little park. It was still early and very few people were around so he let the dogs off to run around and play for a while.

No matter how long he ran, he couldn’t quite shake the images of his dream from his head, figuring there was only one solution. He gathered his dogs together again and headed home. He towelled each of the dogs dry before shutting them in the kitchen to protect his carpets, and then went to shower before getting dressed and heading to Taguchi’s place.

It was a reasonable time by the time he arrived so he didn’t worry about mailing the other man first, he had offered for Ueda to go home with him, so he clearly didn’t have plans either. He entered the apartment building and pressed Taguchi’s buzzer, he seemed surprised to see Ueda there, but let him up.

“Hey” Taguchi smiled brightly, opening the door for him.

Ueda entered eagerly, he was already half hard again with the anticipation “I had a really vivid, hot dream last night...and I really need you right now...” he admitted, hating how weak he sounded.

Taguchi’s face fell a little, “Tatsuya, actually...today isn’t too good for me...”

Ueda’s heart stopped for a moment and his cheeks flushed automatically. “Sorry, I didn’t mean...I should have called first, or mailed or something, I’m sorry...I’ll.” But Taguchi stopped him as he tried to head to the door again, pushing him gently into the wall beside it.

“I want to, I really, really do, just...I think I must have eaten something funny last night...my stomach hasn’t been too good this morning...”

“I’m sorry, if you’re ill, I should...” but Taguchi stopped him again.

“I’m not ill, I feel fine honest, I’ve just had a bad stomach and I don’t think sex would be a good idea right now...” Ueda flushed again, but a determined look swept across Taguchi’s face. “Please, don’t go...” he looked fiercely into Ueda eyes and then hurriedly pressed their mouths together in a deep kiss. He heard a low moan in Ueda’s throat and pushed their hips together, exhaling sharply at the already solid mass pressing back into him.

He drew his mouth away looking once more into Ueda’s eyes before closing his own and kissing his way down Ueda’s neck to his collarbone, before dropping to his knees. He looked back up at Ueda through his thick lashes, but the older was too shocked to react as Taguchi quickly undid his jeans, pulling them to the floor along with his boxers.

“Junno...you don’t need to...” he assured the other, but it was clear from his deep breaths he wanted it. His cock twitched in anticipation and Taguchi gave a sly smile.

“I know...but I want to try this...” he licked his lips then, and reached out a hand to take hold of the erection in front of him, Ueda inhaled sharply and then whimpered as he flicked out his tongue, testing it against the tip of Ueda’s cock. He repeated the action again, this time licking slower and smiling proudly when the cock twitched again in his hand. “You’ll have to help me out...I don’t really know what I’m doing here...” Ueda nodded, his head falling back and his eyes closing as Taguchi reached out again, taking the head into his mouth and running his tongue experimentally over it.

Ueda groaned quietly and his hips jerked forward involuntarily, so Taguchi brought up his spare hand to push the older man’s hips back into the wall as he pushed his head forward, taking him further into his mouth. For a few minutes he played around with his tongue, seeing how far he could reach with it, and what the effects were of sucking, hollowing his cheeks, the result was a whimpering Ueda, trying hard not to push forward into the hot mouth.

Eventually he set upon a rhythm, pulling back slowly and flicking his tongue over the head, only to go back down quickly and repeat the action. Ueda’s hand moved gently to his hair, squeezing hard on the silky strands whenever the younger man did anything particularly good, and all the while moaning softly. After a couple of minutes, the hand holding his hips released him, and he had to try hard not to push forward, use all of his willpower not to buck forward hard and fast, fucking the other man’s mouth.

“Please...” he groaned out in frustration, “Just a little faster” and the younger man complied, spreading his tongue wide against the shaft and sucking hard as he bobbed his head up and down the throbbing cock. Ueda choked on the wail that was trying to tear itself from his throat as his grip tightened around the hair in his hands.

He faintly heard the sound of a zipper being undone and then he felt more than heard Taguchi’s groan around his cock. He moaned out louder, the idea of Taguchi touching himself as he sucked him off taking him higher. He opened his eyes and looked down, taking in the sight of Taguchi’s face screwed up in pleasure apart from his mouth, lips tight around the shaft of Ueda’s cock, repeatedly swallowing almost the full length of it.

Ueda threw his head back once more, groaning, but forced his eyes open to watch when he heard and felt Taguchi’s moans turn to higher pitched whimpers. As he looked down the young man’s rhythm faltered, eyes clenched tightly as he shuddered. It took a few moments of heavy breathing before Taguchi opened his eyes, he looked up into Ueda’s face who inhaled deeply at how sexy he looked that way, and then slowly he moved his mouth down the hard shaft again.

Ueda groaned loudly, pushing his head back again, but he moved his hand from the younger mans hair to his cheek, rubbing it soothingly with his thumb. He couldn’t remember that last time he’d had a blowjob this good, if he was honest with himself he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a blowjob, it must have a good while ago, but either way it had been nothing compared to this.

There was something just right about the slight suction and the soft moist lips dragging deliciously over his heated skin. The effort put in to keep his tongue moving, stimulating, was something else too, the way Taguchi would press it flat against the hard shaft, but flick the head slowly, gently, each time the hot heat moved up to the tip of his cock.

The pace was slow but not teasingly so, just enough to have Ueda moaning and almost trembling against the wall behind him, feeling as though he might fall with each flick. It was only a few more minutes until he felt he couldn’t take it any longer, he slid his hand from Taguchi’s cheek to his shoulder, pushing gently, but Taguchi didn’t move. He was drawing too close too quick and he groaned, pushing a little harder at his shoulder moaning out “Junno stop, I’m going to come.” But the younger man continued, not even altering his pace, and when Ueda tore his eyes open to look down at him, there was a determined look on his face. Ueda groaned loudly again, causing Taguchi to glance up at him, and in that moment when their eyes locked it hit him.

He couldn’t stop the jerking of his hips, pushing him further into Taguchi’s mouth and his world turned white as he came hard into the wet heat. Taguchi continued sucking slowly until his hips stilled, collapsing back against the wall behind him, and as he drew away he tenderly licked the last drops of liquid from the tip of his cock. Ueda looked down at him again in a strange mixture of awe and disbelief and their eyes locked again just as Taguchi swallowed his release. Ueda’s eyes widened slightly further at the realisation, but he couldn’t manage to form words, and so Taguchi smiled, helping him back into his trousers before tidying up his own clothes.

He stood slowly, knees cracking from the time spent kneeling and he made his way to the kitchen to clean the mess he’d made on his T-shirt, but decided it would be easier to just wash it and so he pulled it over his head while walking to his bedroom to fetch a clean one. He was surprised to see Ueda still standing against the wall where he’d left him, so he went over, chuckling a little as he stroked Ueda’s cheek.

“Are you ok?” He laughed.

Ueda looked up into his face, expression still containing disbelief, but now diluted with embarrassment and a little confusion. “Junno, you didn’t have to...”

“I know, but I told you I wanted to” he replied lightly.

Ueda nodded “And I appreciate you doing it, I do, but at the end too, you didn’t need to...” his cheeks flushed darker.

“What? Swallow?”

Ueda flinched slightly at the word “Yeah, I mean you didn’t even need to let me...finish...in your mouth at all.

“Taaatsuya” he chided as he stroked his cheek again “I wanted to do it...ok...I was kind of curious anyway, about what it tasted like, and you were being so sexy and I just, I really wanted it, ok? So no feeling guilty...and no thinking about what it means, ok?”

Tatsuya smiled a little, Taguchi was right, he was over-thinking things again, he nodded and laughed a little so Taguchi took the opportunity to lean forward and press their lips together briefly.

“And you know, you didn’t need to take care of yourself either...I could have done something for you too...”

Taguchi smiled, “you can owe me then...”

They both giggled a little and Ueda pressed his lips onto Taguchi’s, whispering “Thank you, it was amazing” against them before pressing into them again.


	17. April 22nd 2012

Ueda bowed deeply as the last concert ended, he loved lives and he loved touring, the feeling of being so close to the fans and hearing them cheer, constricting his chest in a painful but wonderful way. He could still hear them shouting as he walked backstage with the others for the final time, they were calling out for more, or just calling out in general, he could even hear some calling his own name. It was these moments that made him happiest to be an idol, they made up for all the early mornings, and late nights, the boring waiting times and the endless hours spent sitting around while a team of middle-aged women fussed over how soft and smooth his hair was, while attacking it with all manner of machines to make it stick out in just the right way. For being able to hold these concerts he was really thankful.

This time, he noted, he had something extra to be thankful for, but he shook the thoughts from his head, refusing to get tied up in his feelings about what he and Taguchi were doing...had been doing, surely it had to end now.

“Pomu, are you showering?” Ueda looked up to find only he and Koki were left in the dressing room. Ueda just nodded and stood, feeling strangely sad that it was over, and not just the concerts. He showered and dressed again in some kind of daze, only being mildly pulled from it when he was seated with the other members in some cute little family restaurant discussing the highlights of the tour. He was glad at least that everyone had something of a bitter undertone in their voices, he knew he wasn’t the only one that liked lives more than anything else, so he felt a little better that he at least blended in.

As he got back into his car and headed home, he let the thoughts he had been suppressing all night flood forward. He still knew in his heart that he wasn’t in love with the younger man, sure he thought he was attractive, and everything seemed a little brighter when he smiled, but this aching in his chest, surely it was just for loss of the concerts...

His thoughts were interrupted by his phone buzzing, the road seemed quiet enough so he reached over to pick it up from the passenger seat and his chest loosened a little seeing that it was a mail form Taguchi, just a few simple words ‘Come to my place.’

He pulled over while he thought the suggestion through. Technically, he hadn’t arrived home yet, so he hadn’t technically gotten home from the tour yet...so it wouldn’t exactly be breaking any rules. And maybe being with someone else just for a couple of hours might help him get out of this strange mood he was in. He couldn’t deny that he wanted the sex too, things had been a little busy over the past few days so they’d only managed to get together once since that day Taguchi had given him the most incredible blowjob. Anticipation began slowly working him up, pushing the previous thoughts from his mind as he finally convinced himself that just one last night together wouldn’t be a problem.

He started the car again, but turned it around, heading instead for Taguchi’s apartment. Taguchi was waiting for him when he arrived and quickly buzzed him in.

They walked silently into the living area where they stood for a few moments, taking each other in with hungry eyes. “I’m glad you came over...I know it’s late, but I figured we shouldn’t end this without at least making it a final ending, if you get me”

Ueda nodded “Yeah, you’re right, we should make it a definitive...” but he was rambling, they both knew why they were here and what they wanted, were almost trembling with want of.

They closed the gap between them quickly, mouths fusing together in a fierce battle of lips and teeth, and tongues, hands grasping at clothes and flesh, sinking into soft hair and tugging gently to push their kiss deeper.

Taguchi broke away first to pull Ueda’s shirt from his body, kissing a path down his throat to his chest as he did so, reaching as far as he could. Ueda moaned softly but soon dragged his face away, back up to his own to kiss him again as he pushed their hips together hard. They both moaned at the friction and Taguchi pushed them further together, moving his legs apart slightly to slot one between Ueda’s, making sure to push up into him with his thigh.

Ueda let out a low groan which caused a similar response in Taguchi, and he clutched at the younger man’s back with his blunt fingers as he ground his hips harder into his leg. Taguchi pulled away again too soon, but grasped one of Ueda’s arms, pulling him closer to the sofa before pushing him down onto it, climbing quickly atop him and grinding down into him once more.

Ueda briefly thought of how their positions were wrong but couldn’t concentrate on his thoughts long as Taguchi’s hips began moving into his again, and the younger man’s mouth attached to his throat. Taguchi seemed to gain as much pleasure as Ueda did from the soft but sloppy kisses over his skin, down the tender skin of his throat and the hard muscles of his shoulders and chest. He shuffled down just a little to give himself better access as he swept his tongue across the hard smooth skin, tasting the salty tang of the sweat starting to cover the smaller man’s body. He groaned out loud when he reached the muscles of Ueda’s stomach, flexing and constricting in rhythm with the hot but gentle kisses, Ueda caught on and leaned up slightly, tensing his stomach to make the muscles stand out more prominently. Taguchi groaned again, running his tongue over the ridges and dips in his abs before kissing between them and trying to nibble at the hard muscle. Ueda laughed breathily, delighted in the way his body aroused the younger man, and the muscles wavered with his breaths causing Taguchi to moan aloud again.

After a few moments more he began his ascent back up Ueda’s chest and the older man lay down against the sofa again, pushing his hips up slightly against Taguchi’s leg. Taguchi played with his tongue across the flat but muscular chest, placing gentle kisses all over and then finally working up the courage to reach out with his tongue to swipe it softly over Ueda’s nipple. The older man gasped as it sent a sensation much like an electric shock straight down to his groin. He raised his head looking in surprise at Taguchi, but he only smiled reaching out with his tongue again to drag it over the nipple even slower. Ueda groaned, his hips pushing up faster, seeking friction against any part of Taguchi’s body he could reach, but the taller man moved in such a way that he couldn’t achieve the friction, could do nothing to alleviate the sensations being given to him through the hot wet tongue on his nipple.

Ueda lashed out in frustration, gripping the other’s arms and pushing him to the side to flip them over, forgetting for a moment they were on a sofa until they hit the floor with a thud. He landed on top of Taguchi and searched the man’s face for signs that he was ok, but if anything his eyes only looked hungrier. Taguchi reached up to knot his fingers into Ueda’s hair and pulled his head down roughly to kiss him, bucking his hips up fiercely to produce a burning, almost painful feeling of pleasure.

The grip in his hair was getting painful so he grabbed the younger man’s hand, pushing it down onto the floor beside his head loving the whiny groan it pulled from Taguchi’s lips as he panted heavily into the other man’s mouth. His body felt unbearably hot and he was aware that his control had already been replaced by raw desire. He pulled away reluctantly, trying to cling onto enough lucidity to note that if they wanted this to go further there were things they needed to do first.

Taguchi looked at him through hazy eyes as he drew away but as Ueda moved to remove his clothes he caught on and removed his own. Once naked, Ueda looked around “lube?” he asked, his breathing still heavy. Taguchi reached above him and dragged over his bag where he had stashed one of his bottles of lube in case there had been any opportunity for them after work, away from his apartment. He passed it to Ueda, cheeks flushing.

“Don’t use your fingers...” he said shyly as his cock twitched against his hip.

Ueda looked at him in surprise “But I’ll hurt you.”

Taguchi’s breath came out harder, cock twitching unconsciously again “I know, but I want to feel it, I want it rough.” Now it was Ueda’s cock that throbbed, Taguchi’s request sending white hot tingles throughout his groin. He nodded and moved quickly over the younger man again, kissing him fiercely as his body began trembling, he wasn’t sure he could stand the anticipation anymore so he did as Taguchi asked, coating his erection in lube before pushing all the way in fast as he could.

Taguchi almost screamed with the mixture of pleasure and pain, back bowed before he began moving, bucking his hips fast as he groaned low, face still screwed up and eyes clenched shut.

Ueda moved the younger mans legs as wide as they would go, allowing him to almost lay down on him, reaching to kiss gently at the lips, tight over gritted teeth. The lips softened against his, eventually moving in time to kiss him back, and Ueda finally felt calmed enough to thrust back against the frantic hips. Taguchi groaned louder, letting his hands snake round to grasp at Ueda’s back, pulling him closer, clinging to him in his desperation.

Urged on, Ueda sped up his thrusts, bending his body a little to put more power into them and he attached his mouth to Taguchi’s shoulder, biting down as he all but grunted with the force of the pleasure slamming into him. He unconsciously bit harder as he felt the fire spreading through his abdomen, and he knew he couldn’t hold on much longer, but the pain of the bite caused Taguchi to moan again loudly as one hand released Ueda’s flesh, sliding instead between their bodies. Ueda expected to feel the hand moving in time with his thrusts, wrapped around Taguchi’s cock but he flinched in surprise when instead it flattened out against his stomach, rubbing gently as the muscles flexed beneath it. Taguchi gave another groan and threw his head back into the carpet as his back arched with his release, splattering the sticky warm fluid all the way up to Ueda’s chest.

Ueda held on, fighting his way through the constricting muscle until Taguchi relaxed back into the carpet and then he slowed, stilling almost completely to let the wave of heat and pleasure wash over him, drowning him.

When his breathing had calmed he opened his eyes, almost laughing at the sight of Taguchi’s features light and giddy in a hue of bliss with limbs splayed clumsily in every direction. He leaned down to kiss his lips gently and the limbs moved almost unnoticeably to wrap around him, holding him close as the younger man’s lips moved lazily against his.

After an immeasurable amount of time Taguchi finally pulled away, releasing the older man from his grip. “Do you need to go now, or do you want to stay here, just this once?” Ueda smiled sheepishly, mind still fluffy and light with his afterglow and he got up, taking Taguchi’s hand as he lead the way down the hall to Taguchi’s bedroom.


	18. April 23rd 2012

When Ueda woke alone that morning, he was vaguely aware that he shouldn’t be, images of the previous night spent cuddled blissfully in the arms of Taguchi creeping into his sleep-hazed mind. Once his eyes were fully open and he could think clearly, he heard the faint sound of running water, feeling a little less abandoned he rolled over onto his back, immediately feeling the dried fluids on his chest begin to flake with the movement. He groaned a little in displeasure and reached out for some tissue to wipe away the remnants of it, before grabbing a couple more to wipe himself clean further down.

As he’d just woken up he found himself a little aroused, which wasn’t helped by the soft tissue rubbing against him, still sensitive from the previous night. Remembering where he was, he felt a little weird, and stopped his actions, rolling again onto his side facing the outside of the bed, listening for a few minutes until the water stopped running.

He smiled a good morning to Taguchi as he entered the room again, but his cheeks flushed a little as the younger man dropped the towel, his only form of covering, and climbed back into the bed.

“Morning Tatsuya” Taguchi said with one of those contagious smiles. “Thank you for last night, it was...” he exhaled hard “indescribable”.

Ueda laughed a little “I’m glad, I was worried I hurt you though...”

Now it was Taguchi’s turn to laugh as his cheeks flushed a little “It hurt a bit, but I was so wound up last night, I just kind of wanted it to”

Ueda smiled, remembering just how wound up he himself had been the previous night “Yeah, I get that” he continued playing through the evening in his mind, remembering something suddenly, and he rolled onto his back to look at Taguchi. “Hey, about last night...you didn’t...you moved your hand, but you didn’t touch yourself...”

Taguchi’s face lit up in a grin again “I didn’t need to, it was...strange, it was so intense and it just kept building and building and then out of nowhere...it was like something exploded really deep inside me.”

Ueda smiled back but he felt his skin heating up, cock hardening somewhere out of sight. “Well, whatever it was, it was really hot”

Taguchi blushed but Ueda could see the flush stretching down to his neck and chest, a tell-tale sign he was just as aroused. “I’m really happy that we got to do this...over the past few weeks I’ve learnt so much about my own body that I don’t think I would have ever known otherwise...I’m just disappointed I never got to show you any of those things...”

Ueda’s eyes widened at the suggestion “Nor would you ever have done no matter how long we did this...I’m strictly seme ok?”

Taguchi blushed with embarrassment, “I didn’t mean sex necessarily, even just a finger...”

Ueda gasped “Just stop right there, you’re not putting anything up my ass, period”

Taguchi laughed at the older man’s outrage “Fine, ok, I got it...I only meant if you wanted...”

Ueda cut him off sharply “Well I don’t, so fuck you...”

Taguchi laughed some more, but then tried a seductive look “You could you know, if you wanted...”

Ueda’s expression transformed immediately to confusion. “What...that doesn’t even make sense...”

Taguchi tilted his head down and glanced up through his lashes “Fuck me...if you wanted to...you could fuck me now...”

Ueda swallowed hard, the topic had changed so quickly he felt a little dizzy but if he was honest with himself there was very little he wanted more. He brushed the suggestion off “Junno, I need to shower, I’m still all sticky...”

“Then I could shower with you...” he pushed. Ueda paused to think and Taguchi jumped on the opportunity. “I know you’re horny too...” his hand appeared from nowhere around Ueda’s knee and he slid it slowly upwards until Ueda brushed it away flushing.

“Let me get cleaned off first...”

Taguchi beamed again “I’ll go set the rice going for breakfast...I’ll give you what? 10 minutes?” Ueda nodded shyly and Taguchi practically skipped from the bed, not even pausing to dress before making his way to the kitchen.

Ueda couldn’t help smiling as he got up and made his way to the toilet, forcing his thoughts elsewhere in order to get rid of his erection so he could use it. Once he was done he headed into the bathroom, the new toothbrush he’d found and used last time he’d stayed there was standing in the pot beside Taguchi’s own. On both occasions he’d remembered his own was only outside in the car with the rest of his luggage, but he was hardly in a state to be wandering half naked to his car, and of course Taguchi was the kind of weird, neat freak that was likely to have spare tootbrushes just laying around.

After brushing his teeth he climbed into the shower, relaxing under the hot water as his hands roamed over his body, rubbing smooth foam into his skin and washing away the remnants of stickiness on his chest and stomach. He began to harden already as his hand moved lower, the soft shower foam feeling like silk against his sensitive flesh as he cleaned away the traces of lube and cum on his cock. He closed his eyes and allowed his head to fall back as he let the sensation take over him a little, but was pulled back to reality when the door opened and Taguchi stepped inside. He could tell by the look on Taguchi’s face that he’d been caught in the act, but the sight of Taguchi’s cock growing and rising before his eyes prevented any embarrassment, and instead he took his bottom lip into his teeth as he swept his thumb across the head.

Taguchi exhaled sharply and he made his way slowly across the small bathroom, climbing into the shower behind Ueda. He reached immediately for the shower foam and lathered up his hands before placing them on Ueda’s shoulders and rubbing them sensually down his arms or across his chest. Ueda relaxed back into him, feeling the younger man’s hardness press into his lower back, writhing against it as the thumb of one soapy hand brushed across his nipple. It wasn’t a sensation he was used to, having never thought to pay any attention to the small buds, but it was something like electric and he loved it.

Once enough attention had been paid to the nipple, Taguchi’s hand resumed its wandering. He held Ueda’s hips tightly in place against him with his left hand while the right glided along his other hip to enclose around Ueda’s hand, still wrapped loosely around his cock. He helped the older man to adjust his grip and then began moving their hands slowly up and down the shaft, causing him to moan and push back into Taguchi’s body behind him. Taguchi responded by pushing his hips forward rhythmically, rubbing himself against Ueda’s back, and then leaning down to nibble lightly on the flesh of his shoulder.

After a few minutes of the torturously slow teasing, Ueda pushed the hand from his hip, stepping away to turn around and almost slam Taguchi back against the wall. He adjusted the shower so that it sprayed lightly over the two of them, and then settled against Taguchi’s body again, facing him so that he could lean up and capture his lips. He bucked his hips sharply against Taguchi’s body, the slippery foam causing their arousals to slide over each others’ bodies with teasing ease, until Taguchi could take no more and took them both in hand, rubbing them both at the same time causing Ueda to moan and buck harder into his hand.

“Wait” Ueda groaned “Junno stop”, and reluctantly he pulled himself away slightly. “I want...” but he didn’t need to continue, Taguchi’s face broke into something of a sly grin as he hoisted one leg up around Ueda’s waist while he dragged Ueda’s hand to push it back between his legs. Ueda gasped but complied, rubbing his fingers gently over the wrinkled muscle until he had Taguchi whining, he then reached out for the shower foam again and coated his fingers, slipping two inside at once.

Taguchi bit into his lip as he pushed his head back, in his efforts to clean himself just a little while ago he’d tried slipping his own finger inside his body, but it couldn’t compare to the way Ueda did it. He moved his hips in time with the thrusting fingers, pushing down against them to feel them deeper and then jerking with a strangled moan as Ueda teasingly flicked the tip of his finger against the gland that set him on fire. After only a few minutes he had been reduced to mumbled pleading, and only then did the older man relent, pulling his fingers out and turning Taguchi around to enter him from behind.

He had to spread the tall mans legs apart to reach properly, but once he could he pushed his way slowly inside. He kept the pace slow, and moved his hand to Taguchi’s front, rubbing soothing circles along his chest and stomach before trailing it down slowly to wrap around the leaking erection, before holding completely still.

Taguchi let out a loud groan of frustration and bucked forward into the waiting hand before moving back, pushing Ueda deeper inside. He let out another loud groan and repeated the action again, over and over, speeding up with each thrust until Ueda couldn’t take anymore and began thrusting back against him.

They continued that way, unsynchronised and frantic, the lack of rhythm causing gasps of surprise and pleasure as they bumped against each other in deliciously new and changing ways. But soon Ueda felt the heat rising inside him and moved his hand faster on the throbbing erection until he felt it twitch and pulse in his hand, warm fluid trickling over his fingers until it washed away down the drain. The hips under his hand stuttered and then stilled along with the orgasm, leaving Ueda to take complete control, slamming hard into Taguchi’s body a few more times before growling out his release into the taller mans shoulder.

He pulled out slowly and rested his head against the shoulder, panting heavily and kissing the wet flesh sporadically. Eventually, Taguchi pulled away, turning to face Ueda with an almost sad expression in his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but was silenced by the older man’s lips on his, they kissed slowly but urgently under the falling water, tongues sliding together but more in comfort than arousal, until Ueda finally pulled away, smiling apologetically.

“Thank you” he managed after a few moments “It’s been really fun with you...”

Taguchi smiled “Baka, don’t start saying your goodbyes...you still have to put up with me like...all the time at work” Ueda nodded, smile lightening a little “And I think we can become closer friends even, because of this”. Ueda nodded again and laughed a little at himself, relief making Taguchi’s smile wider “Turn around, I’ll wash your hair...”


End file.
